When Elizabeth opened her eyes, she
was a little frightened because she was in the dark and couldn't
see. It reminded her very much of the time she'd been under Cassandra's
spell. The only difference was that she could move now. In fact,
she felt as if she were floating. It was a very odd sensation;
the last thing she'd remembered seeing was the stricken face of
her daughter Carolyn bending over her. A soft glow began to illuminate
the room. With surprise, Elizabeth realized she was in a hospital
room. There was something strange about her perspective, though...
As the light became brighter, Elizabeth realized why her it seemed
so strange. She was up, on the ceiling practically, looking down
at the objects in the room. There was a form lying on the bed
below. I think that's me, Elizabeth thought in a detached way.
The bright light was becoming quite distracting. Elizabeth realized
that someone was walking toward her, and she peered closely, trying
to see who it was. To her great pleasure, she saw it was her mother.
She hadn't seen Mama since the night she'd died in the accident,
when Elizabeth was just six years old. Her mother looked youthful,
beautiful, the same as she had that evening when she'd kissed
Elizabeth goodbye and promised to return someday.
"I've come for you," her mother said, "just as
I promised, darling."
Elizabeth wanted to go to her. It had been so long, too long,
since she'd felt the embrace of love from her mother. She had
given many hugs and kisses to her daughter, to her brother, and
to the rest of her family, but she had always keenly missed the
hugs of her own mama. Still, Elizabeth hesitated.
"Elizabeth?" her mother asked quietly. She stretched
her arms out.
"Mama, I want to go with you," Elizabeth said hesitantly,
"but I can't."
"But it's time, my darling," her mother replied softly.
"I have a feeling Carolyn needs me," Elizabeth said.
"Yes, but there is nothing else you can do for her,"
her mother replied sadly. "You won't be able to help her
by hanging on. It will only prolong her pain."
Still Elizabeth hesitated. It was inexplicable. She felt she should
go, it WAS time, but there was an irresistible tug on her sleeve.
"But I must try," Elizabeth said finally. "I must
at least see her before I come with you."
"That is the usual way, of course," her mother said
mildly. "I did not want to go, either. I came to you in the
middle of the night."
"Yes, I remember."
"Then do as you must, darling. Perhaps there is something
I can do to help you with Carolyn. There are many guardians here.
I will consult with them, and then I will return, my darling."
The light began to go out as Ruth Collins faded away. Elizabeth
felt incredibly lonely. She expected to return into her own body;
she'd heard of these types of experiences. However, that didn't
happen. She floated, feeling confused and unhappy.
She began to sense the approach of another. With joy, she realized
her mother had returned. "Elizabeth, many wonderful things
happen here, what we would call miracles. We will help Carolyn
and that will help you find peace as well. You need to move on,
yet you are not able to. What is wrong?"
Elizabeth felt very confused. "I feel that I have to help
Carolyn somehow," she explained.
"You aren't able to help her in your worldly body. I am sorry,
but you were too seriously ill--a stroke, I believe your friend
Dr. Hoffman said. You wouldn't ever be able to speak to her,"
Ruth explained. Elizabeth felt that this was something she knew
already, and she felt a sense of despair. Sensing this, Ruth went
on, "Maybe you can communicate with Carolyn from this plane.
I would be happy to help you do that."
"Oh, I would be so grateful," Elizabeth said hopefully.
"Allow your self to become completely free of your body so
that you are free to join with me and others of your family."
It was easier than Elizabeth thought possible. She imagined reeling
out a long, fragile line, almost like an umbilical cord, and then
she was no longer in the hospital room. She knew she wasn't speaking
or hearing, yet somehow both seemed to be happening. She sensed
the presence of others about her, and she felt content for the
moment.
"Why don't you tell me about Carolyn so that I might understand
how to help you," Ruth prompted. The words were like comforting
feelings of warmth and support.
Elizabeth focused her thoughts toward her mother, trying to explain
that her concern for Carolyn actually went much further back,
far back to the death of her son-in-law, Jeb.
*****************************************************************
For a long, long time, Carolyn was withdrawn and silent in her
grief. Elizabeth could only watch helplessly, trying to comfort
her daughter but unable to reach her in the depths of her despair.
Elizabeth turned to Maggie Shaw for help, but since her marriage
to Sebastian Carolyn had politely but effectively avoided her
old friend.
Carolyn was unable to sleep; she took to walking for long periods
of time through the woods at all times of the night. Although
there hadn't been any attacks for a long period of time, Elizabeth
and Roger worried and tried to advise her not to go out alone.
Sometimes Carolyn's temper would flare and she would explode in
anger.
"Julia, I don't know what to do," Elizabeth confided
helplessly.
"She really hasn't had much time to accept all of this,"
Julia explained, trying to be helpful. "Grief is something
that can't be measured. So much time goes by and then you should
be 'over it.' Usually it takes at least six months to a year before
someone begins to recover from a loss like Carolyn's suffered."
"She's always had such a hard time," Elizabeth exclaimed.
"I feel as though I should've protected her better!"
Julia patted Elizabeth's arm comfortingly. "You've done the
best you possibly could. All you can do is be with her. Would
you like me to try to talk to her? Perhaps I can give her something
to treat her depression so that she is able so sleep a little
easier at night."
"Please," Elizabeth replied gratefully.
But Carolyn had rejected Julia coldly. "I don't need to be
drugged up," she snapped. "There is nothing wrong with
the way I feel. I loved Jeb. I SHOULD be sad!"
Elizabeth mentioned her concern to Barnabas, too. "I worry
about her because of her insomnia. She gets up in the middle of
the night and just goes out. I wish she would wake me and talk
to me. Maybe then I could help her. I don't know where she goes.
I worry something might happen to her." Barnabas listened
quietly and sympathetically, keeping his own counsel. He suspected
where Carolyn might be going.
"I am up frequently in the night as you know," Barnabas
said. "I will try to watch for her, as will Willie."
Elizabeth had mixed feelings about that. "WILLIE?" she
asked doubtfully, her voice scaling up a little.
"Willie is not the person he was," Barnabas said.
Elizabeth didn't feel reassured.
One night, Elizabeth got up to find Carolyn already gone. She
went down to the kitchen and put on a pot of water to boil. She
sat down to wait. Two cups of tea later, the kitchen door opened
and Carolyn walked in with Barnabas. Carolyn looked grim and when
she saw her mother, an irritated expression crossed her face.
"Mother, you shouldn't be up," Carolyn complained.
"I couldn't sleep, either," Elizabeth explained. "I
looked for you, hoping you might keep me company."
Carolyn grimaced. "Well, Barnabas FOUND me, thank you very
much." She looked from Barnabas to Elizabeth. "Well?"
she demanded in a challenging way. "Don't you want to know
where he found me?"
Elizabeth didn't know quite what to say. "Well, not if you
don't want to tell me," she said finally, looking at Barnabas.
"Well, I was at Widow's Hill!" Carolyn said defiantly.
She looked at Barnabas and snapped, "And I had no intention
of jumping, either!"
"I didn't for a moment think you were," Barnabas said
soothingly, reaching out toward Carolyn in a motion of compassion.
But Carolyn was angry and jerked away.
"There's nothing wrong with my going there!" she insisted.
"I don't need you following me around like I'm some hopeless
case!"
"Carolyn, I assure you that was not my intent at all,"
Barnabas explained. "As I told you, I only happened to be
out walking myself. Please, Carolyn, you must remember that this
is not unusual for me. I have been a nocturnal wanderer ever since
I arrived here. Surely you must remember that."
Carolyn began to look mollified. "Yes, that's true,"
she conceded at last. She looked at her mother and said, exasperated,
"It's just that no one seems to understand that I need to
be alone to think!"
"Carolyn, I do understand," Elizabeth said earnestly.
"I only wish that you would reconsider going out alone in
the dark."
"Oh, Mother, please, don't start," Carolyn said, instantly
irritable again.
Elizabeth immediately backed off. She didn't want to alienate
her daughter. "Would you like some tea, darling? Barnabas?"
"Thank you, I believe I will," Barnabas said agreeably.
After a moment, Carolyn nodded in agreement. They made pleasant
small talk and Carolyn even began to smile after a while.
"This is something you didn't know, my dear. Not only did
I watch over you, I watched over my little granddaughter, too.
I was concerned for her, and so I also looked to see how other
members of the family were helping," Ruth explained. In the
early hours of the morning, Barnabas returned to the Old House.
He was deeply concerned about Carolyn's depression in spite of
her reassurances that she didn't plan to jump off Widow's Hill.
Willie was just beginning to rake the ashes out of the fireplace,
where embers just barely glowed. "Oh, hiya, Barnabas, kinda
late, ain't it?" Willie said in greeting.
"Willie," Barnabas began, "I need you to do something
for me."
"Okay, sure," Willie said agreeably. "What is it?"
"I'm very worried about Carolyn," Barnabas explained.
"I'd like you to keep an eye on her for me as much as you
possibly can."
Willie looked uncomfortable. He shifted his feet, rubbed the back
of his neck. "Well," he said finally, "sure I can
do that for ya Barnabas, but ya know me and Carolyn, we don't
get along so good."
"I understand your past difficulties," Barnabas answered.
"I don't mean for you to make yourself obvious, following
her around or trying to talk to her. It's just that she keeps
wandering up to Widow's Hill..." his voice trailed off, and
his face looked pained.
"Okay," Willie said, in a stronger, surer voice. "I'd
be glad to try and keep an eye on her. I know she's been really
sad, and I wouldn't want nothin to happen to her."
"Oh," Elizabeth suddenly understood. "Thank you
for telling me that. I never knew quite how it all started with
Willie and Carolyn."
"It was a good thing, Elizabeth," Ruth responded reassuringly.
"I know how the family felt about Willie Loomis. He really
was a no-good scoundrel when he arrived in Collinsport. He went
through some dramatic changes for the better."
"Yes," Elizabeth agreed. "Hard to believe. I imagine
Carolyn realized he was following her?"
If it was possible to smile, Ruth did it, warmly. "Carolyn
is a very bright young woman," she said.
Carolyn was no happier the first time she ran into Willie than
she had been to meet Barnabas. She regarded him suspiciously.
Willie, uncomfortable, tried to think of something intelligent
to say. Finally, he blurted, "I was just missing Roxanne,
my fiancee."
Carolyn wasn't expecting that. "Oh. Oh! You were going to
marry her, weren't you? What happened, Willie?"
"Oh, she just--well, she--ah, she just left me. She didn't
wanna wait for me."
"I'm sorry, Willie," Carolyn said with genuine sympathy.
"Thanks, Carolyn," Willie replied, smiling a little.
"I mean, ah, you don't hafta feel sorry. I mean, ah, with
what happened to you an all--" He broke off, realizing he
might upset her, and looked away.
"It's all right, Willie," Carolyn said. "It's all
right to talk about Jeb. I can't NOT talk about him."
"Yeah, I know," Willie agreed. "Y'can't pretend
like he was never there. It's like it hurts to think about it
but it hurts more not to think about it." Carolyn stopped
and looked at Willie closely, wide-eyed. Willie blushed. "I'm
sorry, Carolyn. I'm always sayin the wrong damn thing."
"Willie, you stop that!" Carolyn said, with feeling.
"I'm not upset! I just didn't think anyone understood how
I felt!"
Willie looked at her in great surprise. Then he nodded his head
slightly. "So, ah, you wanna walk a ways together?"
he asked.
"Yes, I would," Carolyn said.
They became friends. They walked together at night and during
some afternoons, too. Elizabeth fretted. She wasn't sure she approved.
Willie had been such an unscrupulous character; could he be trusted?
She wished Barnabas wasn't away on business so much; she wished
Cousin Quentin would come back. Roger was very blunt about it.
"She'd be much better off with her cousins than that nefarious
character! I should speak to Barnabas about it!"
"No, no, Roger!" Elizabeth protested. "Carolyn
is so sensitive. She's befriended Willie. It wouldn't be right--"
Roger grumbled and poured himself a drink. "Why should she
want to be friends someone character like that, Liz? There are
so many others so much better suited for her!"
"She doesn't want that, Roger, she just wants a friend."
"Well, all right, then, there are so many others who would
make more suitable friends! Why can't Carolyn spend more time
with Maggie?"
"I think Maggie's happiness with Sebastian upsets her. She
also thought that Sebastian looked too much like Jeb for comfort,"
Elizabeth explained. "I am sure it is especially hard for
her to be around Maggie, especially now that Maggie is having
a baby. I just hope Maggie really understands, as she says she
does."
"Well, that Loomis is nowhere near Carolyn's class and level
of breeding!" Roger continued to complain. Elizabeth agreed
but decided to keep silent.
"How very much like his grandfather Roger is," Ruth
commented. "It's surprising, really, because your grandfather
really didn't go on very much longer after the car accident. I
suppose it was the shock of everything that happened."
"So you've been watching us all these years?" Elizabeth
asked, wonderingly.
"More so in the beginning, before I was willingly to accept
that much was out of my control."
"I used to dream you were with me sometimes," Elizabeth
said wistfully.
"I was," Ruth said simply. "When I felt things
were going well, I could turn my attention elsewhere. One of those
times was when I realized how contented Carolyn was. I knew you
were not content, but I have learned over the years that some
things must just be."
Elizabeth didn't answer. She wasn't quite sure she liked the idea.
Time passed. Carolyn announced she wanted a career; she wanted
to take classes at night. She didn't want anything to do with
the cannery and was uninterested in business. She wanted to teach
preschool. She got a job at a preschool in Rockport, and Willie
drove her to and from work. Sometimes he'd take her to her class
and then pick her up. They'd go out for a drink and just talk.
Elizabeth wasn't sure what to make of it.
"I've come to realize that not only is Willie a good friend,
he is also safe," Elizabeth explained to Julia over tea.
"In what way?" Julia asked.
"Well, Carolyn has absolutely no interest in dating anyone
and by being with Willie as much as she is, no one will ask her
out," Elizabeth explained. "By the way, how is Barnabas?
He looks rather ill." Barnabas had only very recently stopped
going on so many frequent day trips. Once in a while, he came
in the early morning for coffee or tea but looked tired and pale.
"He's just recovering from a virus," Julia replied,
and abruptly switched back to the topic of Carolyn. "Do other
people think they're dating?"
"I don't think they know WHAT to think," Elizabeth replied,
wryly noting to herself that the same could be said of Julia and
Barnabas. "Willie's not possessive of her; he's as polite
and proper as can be. However, they are seen so often together
that I am sure that people think they are seeing each other."
"It's been almost four years since Jeb died," Julia
remarked. "It's a shame that she seems to show no interest
in forming any permanent attachments to anyone else."
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows and thought how ironic it was that
Julia would say such a thing. But then, one didn't know quite
what was going on with Julia, did one? "Perhaps she feels
she'll never love anyone else."
"She's really not giving herself an opportunity to find out,"
Julia said.
Elizabeth elected not to reply to that at all, and Julia moved
on to another topic. Roger fumed and complained about it as well.
"It's not normal, it really isn't, Liz! She's so young, and
she has no social life!"
"I wouldn't say that," Elizabeth objected. "She
does go out with friends of hers from work and from school. She
has begun visiting Maggie again."
Roger glared. "Oh, Liz, you know what I'm talking about!
Yes, she has friends, and yes, she sees Maggie. She absolutely
dotes on their little girl. You see what a devoted godmother she
is to Adrienne? She should be married again and have children
of her own!"
"Roger, look at you and me. Have we set such a good example?
I think Carolyn is living a more normal life than you or I did
at her age."
That effectively shut Roger up.
Quentin returned after his extensive travels just before New Year's
Eve of 1975, and he brought music and laughter with him. "He
hadn't aged a day," Elizabeth marvelled, remembering that
the Shaws had invited several friends to their home for a New
Year's Eve party, including Quentin, who had entertained everyone
with his stories about travels around the country. He also became
joyously drunk and practically had to be carried inside the house
by Willie and Carolyn. "And, he didn't have a hangover, either."
"Hmm, I have a little surprise to share with you later,"
Ruth said teasingly. "Our family is full of surprises. But
tell me more--what happened then?"
Carolyn had graduated and was now teaching in a Montessori preschool.
She wasn't having as much trouble sleeping anymore but still enjoyed
early morning walks and talks with Willie. They were taking coffee
together on the drawing room and had the radio playing nearby
when Quentin came strolling by. He was just coming in after a
late night out partying. He was very cheerful and very dishevelled.
"Quentin, you never change," Carolyn said, smiling in
greeting. "Don't you ever get tired? You have more energy
than my three year old class!"
"What are you saying here?" Quentin asked good humoredly.
Just then, a song by the Four Seasons came on the radio. Carolyn
had heard it before; it was a cute song, and she'd always liked
Frankie Vallee's voice. Quentin began dancing, moving easily to
the music. "What's that?" Carolyn asked. She'd never
seen those steps before. She was used to the freestyle "do
your own thing" dancing of the 60s and early 70s.
"You've never seen this?" Quentin was surprised."Everyone's
doing it. Come here, I'll show you." He held his arms out,
and Carolyn jumped up, moving into his arms. Quentin pulled her
close to him, and they began moving around the room together.
Willie realized, to both his surprise and his dismay, that they
looked graceful dancing together.
Carolyn was laughing. "Just follow me," Quentin said,
whirling her around. Then he pulled her close again, and they
danced, hip to hip.
"What is this?" Carolyn asked, in delight.
"It's called 'the hustle'", Quentin explained.
Willie sat up straight. "HUH?" He knew what a hustle
was, and they didn't look like two cousins at the moment. He felt
himself becoming irritable and miserably jealous.
"It's really a big deal now," Quentin continued. "I
really like it because I really feel like I'm dancing again. It
feels good to hold a woman in your arms and dance romantically
together, not three feet apart--you know?" The song was coming
to the end, and Quentin danced Carolyn back to the sofa. He glanced
at Willie's face and instantly understood clearly what Willie
was thinking.
"Willie, you try," Quentin urged.
"Nah, the song's OVER," Willie said grumpily.
"Well, I've got it upstairs. I'll bring down a record player."
Now Willie was a little alarmed. "I dunno how to do that
dance, Quentin!"
"It's easy," Quentin urged. "I can teach you!"
Willie opened his mouth to answer, but Carolyn cut in: "Oh,
that's a great idea! It really is a lot of fun, Willie!"
Willie shrugged. "Okay, Carolyn, sure," he said agreeably.
Quentin bounded off to find a portable record player and his 45
of the song. He returned with the record player, the record, and
a very sleepy David. David was in his first year of college and
usually slept in on Saturdays. He was very curious to find out
why his cousin had burst into his room and torn it apart, looking
for the record player. Quentin set up the record to play and then
said to Willie, "Look, just come and stand next to me. Follow
my feet, okay? Ever done any ballroom dancing?"
"What, are you kidding?" Willie exclaimed. The music
started again, and Quentin began moving. Willie began copying
his movements, very tentatively at first.
"Oh, yeah, I've seen that," David exclaimed, interested.
"Not to that song, though."
"You can do this dance to just about anything," Quentin
said. "Come on, David!" David joined Willie on the other
side. Carolyn clapped her hands in delight. Willie loosened up.
It felt kind of natural to him.
Quentin picked the needle up and moved it to the beginning of
the song again. "Now, you dance with Carolyn. You lead--that
means she'll follow you, so her steps will mirror yours-- you
see?"
Willie nodded, and eagerly held his arms out to Carolyn. Quentin
started the music again. "Oh what a night, late December
back in '63. What a very special time for me. As I remember, what
a night," Willie heard in his head as he moved to the music.
He'd heard the song before and knew what it was about, but it
had an entirely different meaning now. He really felt like he
was floating. Willie was looking at Carolyn, and she was looking
back at him. He felt like he was falling down into her eyes, and
the words resounded loudly in his head. "...She was everything
I dreamed she'd be...I felt a rush like a rolling bolt of thunder
Straining my head around and taking my body under...Oh what a
night..." The song ended, but Willie and Carolyn went on
for a few steps more, both of them just staring at each other.
Then Willie leaned down and kissed Carolyn.
David's mouth fell wide open. Quentin grabbed him by the arm and
pulled him toward the door. "Come on, David, let's see what
other records you've got." They stopped short because Elizabeth
was in the doorway, staring at Carolyn and Willie. Elizabeth,
who'd heard the music being repeated over and over and who'd come
down to find out what was going on, couldn't have been more horrified.
******************************************************************
Elizabeth looked at her reflection in the mirror and sighed. Her
light blue gown was lovely, and really was agreeable to her skin
tone and hair coloring. She smiled and tried to mean it. Then
she sighed again.
"Why were you so unhappy?" her mother wondered. "They
were in love. What a special kind of love, too, because it developed
out of such a strong friendship."
"I know," Elizabeth sighed. "I really should be
ashamed of myself. I just didn't think he was good enough for
her. She's so smart, and he's so--"
"Dumb?" Ruth asked. "Low class?"
"Well," Elizabeth was embarrassed. "But a HANDYMAN!"
"He could've stayed a con man, like Jason McGuire. Or perhaps
a lady's man, like Paul Stoodard," Ruth pointed out, mildly
ironic.
Elizabeth couldn't respond.
"Oh, dear, I was so worried. I wanted to do something, but
I had moved on to a level where you really have to be an archangel
to do much of anything that is noticeable. It's so much easier
from here where the ties are so much stronger." Ruth noticed
Elizabeth's stricken silence. "Please don't feel badly,"
Ruth said apologetically. "All mothers want the best for
their children. They just don't always recognize what the best
is."
"Yes," Elizabeth agreed, feeling a little sad.
"What is it?"
"I just wish I had totally accepted him. I tried to, but
I think they knew how I really felt. I know they knew quite clearly
how Roger felt. That's why they moved into town."
Even before the wedding, the young couple announced their plans
to move into a little house in Collinsport. They politely refused
used of the caretaker's cottage, rooms at Collinwood, and rooms
at the Old House. They wanted to be alone. They wanted to make
a home of their own. Carolyn convinced Willie to get married on
Easter Sunday. "It'll be symbolic of a new beginning for
both of us," she said.
Maggie was Carolyn's matron of honor; Sebastian, who'd gone establishment
and now devoted his talents to investment brokerage (and was doing
very well), agreed to be Willie's best man. Roger very nearly
refused to give Carolyn away. He "gave in", as he put
it, only out of his love for Carolyn.
Willie continued to keep the grounds at the Old House, and Carolyn
kept teaching. They began going around with Quentin and his frequent
dates to the movies and to the new dance clubs called "discos".
They had to travel all the way into Bangor for that, and it turned
into a weekend party when they would go. The new dance steps were
fun and easy to learn.
Several times, they met Chris and Sabrina there. Carolyn was delighted
to see them again; she hadn't seen them in years. They'd adopted
a couple of children; Amy was babysitting them. Carolyn found
out, to her surprise, that David was a frequent visitor--visiting
Amy, that is. Quentin also spent a lot of time with them, too--doing
what, Carolyn wondered. She didn't know that they had all that
much in common, although Quentin and Chris seemed to get on well.
"It all seemed to be going very well for them," Elizabeth
commented. "They were happy and got on well together. They
had a little home of their own. Before long, Carolyn was pregnant.
I wasn't sure how I felt. I was glad for her, but still very worried.
I still wasn't sure I trusted Willie."
"Sometimes things fall apart when everything's going well,"
Ruth remarked. "How well I remember that! Roger was newly
born, and Jamison and I had begun to draw close again--and then
there was the car accident."
"Yes, it seems like there's always been some kind of curse
on us so that we can never be completely happy," Elizabeth
agreed. "It all began to fall apart soon after Jamie was
born. They were so excited. They just knew they were going to
have a boy. Carolyn had dreams about it. They wanted to name the
baby for someone important to us. Barnabas insisted his name was
too old fashioned, so they chose Jamison, for Father."
"I know, and he is so proud."
"They also wanted to name the baby after Willie, so he became
Jamison William." Elizabeth thought she would smile broadly
if she could. "What a beautiful, happy baby! He always gurgling
and cooing. It was always a pleasure to take care of him!"
"But..."
Willie would stay up most of the night with the baby to try and
give Carolyn a break. She was so tired, and the baby nursed almost
round the clock. He wasn't really sleeping during the night yet.
He'd sleep like a rock all day long and have a 3 or 4 hour wakeful
period at 2 a.m. Willie began to look haggard, too. He developed
a persistent cough.
"You had some problems, too," Ruth commented. "I
felt drawn to you once again."
"Yes, at about the same time, I began to feel light headed.
Sometimes, my arm would feel heavy--almost too heavy to move.
Julia said my blood pressure was high. She had me take some medicine.
It was worse with Willie. We didn't know how seriously ill he
was. We just thought he was over tired and run down."
Climbing the stairs at the Old House, Willie would pause at the
top to catch his breath. "Willie, are you quite all right?"
Barnabas asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Barnabas, just gotta kick this cold,"
Willie wheezed, coughing.
One night, after Carolyn had put little Jamie to bed, she realized
she could hear Willie's labored breathing all the way up stairs.
Alarmed, she ran down the stairs to the living room. Willie was
just watching television, but his face had a gray pallor to it.
"Willie!" Carolyn cried.
"Geez, Carolyn, I guess I must be pretty sick," Willie
said. "I'm freezing."
Carolyn called Collinwood, looking for Julia. Elizabeth sent Quentin
to the Old House to fetch her.
Julia listened to Willie's lungs and heart. She thumped his chest
with her fingers. She stood with her back to Carolyn. She looked
up at Barnabas and Quentin, and they saw real concern and reason
to be alarmed. "I think we'd better go over to the hospital
and get some x- rays," Julia said as calmly as she could.
"We want to make sure you don't have pneumonia."
"I'll stay with Jamie," Quentin volunteered. He went
with Carolyn into the kitchen, listening to her tick off instructions
about baby care. Carolyn went to the closet to get their coats.
Barnabas pulled Julia aside and whispered in her ear. "What
is it?" he whispered.
Julia shook her head. She allowed herself to look frightened momentarily.
"At the very least, it IS pneumonia. His lungs are filled
with fluid. He sounds like he's drowning. Did you see his color?
And his face is very puffy."
"Congestive heart failure," Elizabeth whispered. "We
couldn't believe it. We thought it was something that only happened
to older people, not one as young as Willie. Carolyn called me
from the hospital. They had Willie in intensive care, trying to
stop the progression of it."
"So young," Ruth said mournfully. "What caused
it?"
"We don't know," Elizabeth sighed. "It may have
been a virus that attacked his heart muscle. The doctor said he
had, let me think--cardiomyopathy. He WAS very sick within a few
days of Jamie's birth. He had a high fever." She thought
for a moment. "We also found out that Willie had experimented
with drugs before coming to Collinsport, maybe even for the first
few weeks he was here. He took some kind of pills, I think it's
called speed. He also said he used some cocaine." Ruth looked
at Elizabeth with sympathy. "Bad choices lead to bad outcomes,"
Elizabeth said.
"Yes," Ruth agreed, "but as you say, you're not
sure what happened. He might've just gotten sick, as you said.
He hadn't taken those drugs for a long time before he met Carolyn."
"Yes. The doctor also said it may have been something he
had all along. Many people don't know they have it, and they just
drop dead. I suppose we were lucky in that way. Well. Willie was
in the hospital for about ten days or so, and then he was discharged.
He had to take five or six different medicines and his doctor
referred him to the cardiologists at Massachusetts General. Later,
he even went to the Heart Hospital in Allegheny, Pennsylvania.
It seems that Julia knew some people there. We all did what we
could to help. Jamie was absolutely no trouble to watch at all.
It all seemed so hopeless, though. There was no cure. They could
only give Willie medicine to control the fluid, keep it from filling
up in his lungs again. His heart wasn't going to get better, the
doctors said. They did say there was the chance of a heart transplant,
but there were complications with that--not to mention a long
waiting list." Elizabeth paused, then went on. "Even
under the worst of circumstances, life goes on somehow. Willie
seemed a little better, but he wasn't the same. He couldn't walk
long distances without getting out of breath. He had to give up
heavy work at Collinwood. That was very difficult for him. Yet,
the family rallied around him."
"And now?" her mother prompted.
"Now--well, Willie's becoming weaker again, and Carolyn is
pregnant. She should be having her baby any day now. They'd just
gotten back from the doctor when I--" Elizabeth stopped,
as the memory of her last day overwhelmed her.
Elizabeth had been watching Jamie while Carolyn and Willie went
to the cardiologist in Boston. It was just after Christmas; Jamie
was 21 months old and had finally begun to say more than a word
or two. Well, Elizabeth thought to herself, she'd always heard
that boys developed more slowly than girls. She put Jamie down
for a nap, grateful that he was such a good-natured baby. She'd
developed a sharp, blinding headache--the worst she'd ever experienced.
When she went to put Jamie down for a nap, her left leg felt suddenly
weak. She nearly lost her balance but managed to get Jamie into
his crib in David's old room.
Elizabeth gripped the sides of the crib, frightened. She felt
so odd. Should she call Julia? How? She was alone in the house
with Jamie, and there was no phone at the Old House. Well, Quentin
or Roger would be home soon. Or maybe Carolyn and Willie would
get back before long. She made her way down the stairs and into
the drawing room, sitting herself down on the couch.
A little while later, she was feeling better. Roger came home
from work, visited with her briefly and then went upstairs to
change. Mrs. Johnson came in, her errands in town complete. Quentin
bounded down the stairs and came in for a drink. It turned out
he'd been in the West Wing all along, writing. Quentin was still
passing the time with Elizabeth when Carolyn and Willie came in.
Both of them looked strained, and both of them looked like they
were putting on brave faces. They politely declined an invitation
to dinner. Carolyn and Elizabeth went upstairs to get Jamie. Carolyn
lifted Jamie out of the bed and held him to her, her eyes filling
with tears.
"Carolyn, what's wrong?" Elizabeth asked.
"Oh, mother, I don't know what I'm going to do! I feel so
alone!" Carolyn wept, rocking the still sleeping baby. Her
belly bulged hugely. "The doctor said they'd put Willie on
their list for transplants, but he said they'd have to get a muh-match
first, and that the w-wait could be a l- long time, and Willie
could d-d-"
"Oh, Carolyn, darling," Elizabeth felt like weeping
herself. The pain in her head was back, sending exploding stars
of agony across her skull.
"What am I going to do? I love Willie so much! He can't leave
me now, not when I'm going to have this b-baby--"
Elizabeth felt a bomb explode in her brain. Her last conscious
memory was of Carolyn's face in hers, screaming, "Mama!"
over and over.
"Poor Carolyn. Poor Elizabeth," said Ruth. "No
wonder you couldn't leave then."
"How could I? There was Carolyn, wondering how she could
live without her husband, and there I go, having a massive stroke
on her! What kind of mother would do that? She needed me!"
Elizabeth realized what she was saying and looked at her mother,
stricken.
"There, there," Ruth said comfortingly. "The truth
is, we don't always get to choose. Sometimes things just happen
at the wrong time. I thought the very same thing. I didn't want
to go, either, knowing that I was leaving behind my two little
children who still needed me very much."
"Then, Mama, do you see that I could never really rest, knowing
that Carolyn may lose both her mother AND her husband? I couldn't
bear it!"
"Perhaps there is something we can do to help," Ruth
said. "As I said before, there are possibilities here that
we call ' miracles' on earth." She thought. "I would
like to ask one of your cousins, the first Quentin Collins. He
was an inventor, a brilliant and most extraordinary man."
Elizabeth smiled hopefully.
*****************************************************************
Now that they had a plan, Ruth had to teach Elizabeth how to maneuver,
how to communicate. They practiced over and over. Then Ruth said
excitedly, "Come, Elizabeth, there's something I think you'd
like to see. We're going back. Don't worry, no one will see us."
Elizabeth was aware of being back in the hospital. She wondered
how long she'd been gone. Reading her mind, her mother answered,
"You've been in a coma for several weeks. The family has
been told that there is no hope. They doctors are leaving the
decision to Roger and Carolyn, but they haven't been able to bring
themselves to have the breathing machine taken away." Odd,
Elizabeth thought, I don't really feel anything about that. I
just want to know about Carolyn. "She's here, having her
baby."
Elizabeth could see Carolyn's face, bright red and sweating with
effort. Willie, pale and exhausted, was on his feet and at her
side, holding her hand and leaning in so that his face was only
inches from hers. Their eyes were locked on each other; Willie
was blowing rapidly, and Carolyn was following him. Just like
the dance, Elizabeth thought. She saw the deep love the two had
for each other.
"Okay, Carolyn, this is it," the doctor said. Willie
supported Carolyn's shoulders with his arm and pulled her almost
to a sitting position. He counted, and then Carolyn put all her
energy and concentration into delivering the baby. Elizabeth watched
in surprised wonder as the baby's head presented itself, followed
by the shoulders, and then by the rest of the squirming little
body. The baby shrieked with rage.
"Ohhhhh, my!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "What is it?"
"Darling! If you concentrate, you'll know!" Ruth was
very excited. "My great-grand--" Then she seemed to
push Elizabeth forward. "Go look. But you really don't have
to move. Just look."
Elizabeth watched the nurses drying the tiny infant girl. A girl,
a little girl! she thought. Willie kissed Carolyn and then stepped
back and collapsed into a chair, breathing heavily. The nurse
wrapped the baby tightly and brought her to Carolyn. Carolyn turned
her head away, toward Willie. "Not now!"
The nurse seemed to understand and brought the baby to Willie.
"Would you like to hold your daughter?" Eagerly, Willie
held his arms out for the baby. He held her against his chest
tenderly.
Watching him with her granddaughter, Elizabeth realized something:
Carolyn didn't love the baby. Right now, she didn't even want
her. She turned to her mother. "I must speak with her tonight."
Ruth nodded in agreement.
"I will show you how to free yourself of the tie that binds
you still to your body," her mother promised. "Then
you can speak to Carolyn."
The nurse had brought the infant in for a late night visit, but
Carolyn found herself unable to stay awake and felt no desire
to hold her baby. She drifted off, the baby sleeping in the bassinette
nearby. Carolyn awoke from a troubled sleep to see a dark form
bending over the baby's bassinette. She bolted upright. "What
are you doing?" Like the baby or not, she was still her mother
and she would protect her child from danger. The figure straightened
up. Stunned, Carolyn's mouth dropped open. "Mother!"
she gasped. "Mama! What--how--?"
Elizabeth seemed to glide to the bed and sat down beside Carolyn.
"My darling, I love you so much. And the baby is so beautiful."
"Mother, what are you doing up? You shouldn't be here, should
you?" Carolyn asked, confused.
"My darling, I don't have much time, and I must talk to you.
I want you to know how much I love you, and the children, and
Willie, too. And I want you to trust me and believe what I tell
you."
Carolyn nodded, speechless with shock as she realized her mother
wasn't really there.
"There are wonderful things in this world, and miracles can
happen. I know that right now you are so worried about losing
Willie that you're not thinking about this baby. I know that you
don't want her right now and that you don't think you'll ever
be able to love her. I am telling you now that you are not terrible
to feel this way. You will love her, and you will want her. And
I want you to know that there is hope for Willie, and that I am
going to try and help him. Somehow, we will get him the help he
needs. I am not able to explain it all to you right now, but I
will come back to you and I will tell you what to do. Do you believe
me, Carolyn?"
"Yes, Mother," Carolyn whispered.
Elizabeth put her hand on the side of Carolyn's face, stroking
her tenderly. Carolyn closed her eyes and tears spilled down her
cheeks. "I wish I could stay with you. I wish I could help
you with your babies. But you'll always have Willie. And Roger
and David and Barnabas and Julia and Quentin. I will be back.
I promise." When Carolyn opened her eyes again, her mother
was gone.
The baby was crying. Carolyn got out of the bed and walked over
to the bassinette. She picked up the baby and carried her back
to the bed. She looked down at her child. "I'm sorry I don't
feel anything right now," she whispered. She heard her mother's
voice in her ear again. "I will love you someday, I promise
you that." She began to sob.
At that moment, Elizabeth's doctor was approaching Roger, Quentin,
and David, who'd all been called to the hospital. He took them
into an adjoining room and asked them to sit down. "When
we called you, Mrs. Stoddard had had another stroke. She went
into cardiac arrest and then respiratory failure. We did everything
we could to resuscitate her, but we weren't able to start her
heart again. I'm sorry." Roger buried his face in his hands,
pulling away from his son and cousin. David's face crumpled in
grief. Quentin put his arm around David to comfort him, and the
young man began to sob. Quentin sighed heavily, trying to cope
with his own grief.
"What are we going to tell Carolyn?" Roger wondered,
his voice breaking.
Elizabeth knew that Carolyn was feeling impatient, but she wanted
to wait until the baby was settled at home before making her "appearance."
Ruth had taught her how to look ahead, so she knew she had a little
time to work with. She was touched that Carolyn and Willie had
named their daughter for her. They called her Libby because Jamie
was unable to say Elizabeth. He would say, "Libbybeff".
Spring had arrived, but there was little evidence of it. The ground
was still hard and cold; no shoots had attempted to push out of
the soil. As Carolyn and Willie's anniversary approached again,
Elizabeth noticed that WIllie was becoming increasingly weaker
and more tired.
"I think it's time," Ruth said. "Everything is
ready. Our plan is in place. You are ready."
Elizabeth came to visit Carolyn in a dream so lucid, Carolyn could
remember every detail. "You will have to go to Barnabas and
Julia and have them help you," Elizabeth explained. "You
and Willie must get to the staircase through time. They will help
you find it. Once you begin to go up the staircase, I can help
you get to your destination."
"Where are we going?" Carolyn asked. "Why do we
need to go up a staircase?"
"Because the only hope for Willie is at Angeline Caron Hospital
in Brazil years from now, in 1998. He must go there and see a
doctor who is using a treatment that is not accepted here or in
most places of the world. But it will work for Willie. Willie
will not be able to wait for a donor heart, and I already know
that Dr. Shumway's cyclosporin drug will not keep him from rejecting
a transplanted heart."
"But a staircase?"
"You have to transcend time, Carolyn--almost 20 years. This
procedure is not being done in this time. You must ask Barnabas
and Julia to help you with the staircase, Carolyn."
"I'll do it, Mother."
But when she talked of her dream to Barnabas and Julia, they feigned
ignorance. "There is no staircase," Barnabas lied.
Julia tried to reassure Carolyn. "It was a dream, Carolyn,
and very understandable under the circumstances. Of course you
are very worried about Willie--we all are."
"But it seemed so real to me," Carolyn protested. "It
was like Mother was right there beside me, telling me about someone
named Dr. Shumway and a drug called cylclosporin. What is cyclosporin
anyway, and how would I know about it?"
"I'm sure it's come up in conversations with Willie's cardiologist
or his associates," Julia explained reasonably. "Don't
you remember? Cyclosporin is the name of the medication given
to help suppress a transplant patient's immune system so that
it doesn't reject the new heart."
Carolyn looked doubtful. She just wasn't sure. "But Dr. Battista?
Who is he? And some hospital in Brazil...?"
"What's the MATTER with them?" Elizabeth asked in exasperation.
"Why are they lying?" Moving swiftly, her mother showed
Elizabeth the events of long ago 1971. "I never knew that!"
Elizabeth was shocked. No wonder Quentin had gone off for so many
years! She was furious that such terrible things had happened
to her family, and she'd been totally unaware. No, kept in the
dark.
"Elizabeth, wait," Ruth called, but it was too late.
Elizabeth moved to confront Julia and Barnabas. She meant to say,
"Just what did you think you were doing, keeping secrets
from the whole family?" She realized in consternation that
she had no voice. She was also effectively startled by the reactions
of Barnabas, Julia, and Carolyn.
They could see her! Barnabas had jumped to his feet, and Julia's
hand flew to her mouth in that characteristic way of hers whenever
she was frightened or surprised. "Mother!" Carolyn cried
out joyfully. But the joy rapidly changed as Elizabeth found herself
fading away. "Mama, don't go!"
"Elizabeth, you're not ready for that yet," Ruth explained.
"We haven't practiced it enough."
"Well, I HAVE to talk to them!" Elizabeth insisted.
"I think they know that."
Julia and Barnabas were discussing it already. "Perhaps we
could try a seance," Julia said. Barnabas was reluctant but
agreeable. "We could have Quentin help us. I don't think
Willie should be involved."
"You see?" Ruth said reassuringly. "You'll be able
to talk to them."
"I've never done that."
"You don't have to practice. You'll see--it just happens."
So it was Elizabeth found herself explaining what needed to be
done, using Carolyn as her voice. It felt the most comfortable
to her, and she was comforted by her daughter's closeness. It
was almost like being alive again. She decided not to bring up
what happened in 1971. It wasn't important anymore. What was important
was that Willie get up the staircase, where she would guide them
on their way to Brazil.
*****************************************************************
On Good Friday, Carolyn drove to the Shaws' home and dropped Jamie
and Libby off with Sebastian and Maggie and their two children.
The story was that she and Willie were going away on an extended
vacation. Maggie didn't ask any questions; she only hugged Carolyn
close. As he leaned to kiss Carolyn goodbye on the cheeck, Sebastian
spoke quietly into her ear. "Trust, Carolyn. Everything will
be all right. You're doing the right thing." Startled, Carolyn
pulled back and looked at Sebastian in consternation. He winked
at her, and she left feeling both confused and relieved.
Julia and Barnabas had, with Quentin's help, located the old,
original staircase. Desmond had not been successful in his attempt
to destroy it after all. They only had to wait for Carolyn and
Willie.
Willie knew the story of the staircase, so the pallor of his face
could partially be explained by his intimidation of it. However,
as they began to climb, Willie very quickly became exhausted.
He paused more and more frequently, and his breathing grew louder
and more labored. Looking up, they could see the air shimmering.
There seemed to be a faint outline of someone standing at the
top of the stairs.
"Can we give you a hand, old man?" Quentin asked.
Willie could only nod. Barnabas and Quentin supported Willie between
them, and they continued up the stairs with Julia and Carolyn
close behind.
"Good, hurry, no one is around!" It was Elizabeth's
voice, but it seemed to come from within. It was a thought that
appeared in everyone's minds. They all crossed into the west wing
corridor. It was very quiet and very dark.
"The back way," Quentin said to Barnabas, who merely
nodded. It would've been so easy for either man to lift Willie
and carry him like a baby. He seemed to be totally weightless.
Neither one wanted to embarrass Willie, so they continued to half
carry him between them.
Waiting outside in the driveway was a sleek looking large passenger
van. "How convenient," said Quentin. "Thank you,
Cousin Elizabeth." He had a quick image of her smiling face.
The doors were all unlocked, and there were keys in the ignition.
In appearance, this was totally unlike any vehicle they had ever
seen. The front of the vehicle was not flat; it was snub- nosed,
like a racing car. The interior, however, was spacious and comfortable.
Carolyn and Barnabas helped Willie climb into the rear bench.
Quentin and Julia exchanged looks.
"You drive," Julia decided.
They got in. Everyone buckled up, and Quentin turned the keys
in the ignition. The engine turned over at once but two giant
straps started forward from the ceiling. Julia shrieked as the
straps moved inexorably toward her and Quentin, pinning them across
their shoulders.
"For cryin out loud, ya mean in twenty years people are gonna
need some car to buckle them up?" Willie said contemptously,
still breathing rathing raggedly. Quentin roared with laughter,
but Julia was mortified. Barnabas clasped her on the shoulder
with sympathy. He remembered culture shock.
"Maybe you better check out the lights and stuff before we
go," Willie cautioned.
"Well, let's go down the road a little and do that,"
Quentin said. "I'd hate to hear myself out here and come
out to see who was messing with the family car."
Willie laughed appreciatively. Quentin backed down the drive,
turned off on the road and drove toward Eagle Hill. "This
is soooo smooth," Quentin said. He wiggled the wheel back
and forth, throwing everyone from side to side.
"Quentin, what do you think you're doing?" Barnabas
asked irritably.
"I'm sorry," Quentin said, pulling off the road. "Let's
see here." He located the headlights, the brights, the left
and right blinkers, and the windshield wipers. "Okay, now
where's the radio knob?" No knob. Must be a button. Quentin
quickly discovered that in order to turn the radio on, he had
to push a button. To move around the dial, he had to push either
the right or left arrows, for volume, either + or -. "Far
out!" he commented.
"Quentin, stop playing and get on the road," Elizabeth
said sharply. She was worried about Willie's pasty pallor.
"Yes, ma'am!" Quentin said, sitting up straight. He
pulled back onto the road.
Julia looked at him curiously. "Who are you talking to?"
she asked. Looking in the rear view mirror, Quentin saw that the
others also looked puzzled.
"Guess I'm just hearing things," Quentin mumbled, embarrassed.
"Hey, are you sure you should be drivin this thing?"
Willie asked.
"It's all right, darling," Elizabeth said soothingly
to her daughter. "I just don't know how to speak to all of
you at once for long periods of time."
"It's Mother," Carolyn said, relieved. "She's with
us."
Quentin sighed in relief. "Where to?"
"Bangor. To the airport."
Along the way, Quentin played with the radio stations, looking
for something to listen to. He found something called Lite Rock.
"And here is Celine Dion singing the Academy award winning
love theme from this year's best picture, 'Titanic'," announced
the deejay, and the haunting strains of foreign sounding instruments--like
tin whistles-- filled the van.
"Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on..."
Listening to the words, Carolyn felt her eyes fill with tears.
She realized this song was about dealing with loss--wasn't it
from a movie about the Titanic? She put her head on Willie's shoulder.
She really couldn't listen anymore. "Quentin, please find
something else," she asked, her voice breaking. Willie kissed
her hair.
Quentin quickly began playing with the button again. "Well,
that's one ship I'm glad I missed," he said to cover his
discomfort. Only Julia and Barnabas realized he was serious.
"Quentin, STOP, we want to listen to this!" Elizabeth
commanded, very loudly. Quentin winced and jerked his hand off
the radio button as if he'd been burned.
"...and this wasn't the song played at their wedding, but
it's always been, like, their song," a young voice was explaining.
"They're leaving tonight so they won't be around on their
actual wedding anniversary."
"Second honeymoon?"
"Yeah, man, they're flying down to Sao Paolo for a week.
Then they're meeting an old friend of theirs and staying with
him another week or so."
"All right, Jim," the deejay replied. "Any words
for your parents tonight with this dedication?"
"Well, basically, me and my sisters just want to tell them
how much we love them. We think they're great--they've always
been there for us, no matter what was going on with them. They've
had some real ups and downs. We just want them to know how much
we appreciate them."
"Hear that, Mom and Dad?" the deejay asked. "Sounds
like you did a great job raising Jim, Libby, and Emily. Have a
great flight and happy anniversary next week." The strong
sound of bass and drums filled the van.
"Nice anniversay song," Willie groaned. "What kinda
music is this anyway?" The beat was beginning to change,
and Carolyn heard the strains of something familiar. A piano began
playing. She felt herself jump and felt Willie start as well.
They looked at each other as Frankie Vallee began singing "Oh
What A Night."
Carolyn started laughing. "Well, whaddaya know? What have
they done to our song, Ma?" Willie joked. "What a lame
song to fall in love to! Y'know what it's really about?"
"So what? Hey, maybe that's a dedication to you two,"
Quentin said. "Next week is your anniversary, isn't it?"
He saw Elizabeth smile at him again and wink.
Shocked, Carolyn and Willie looked at each other again. "Maybe
it's a sign," Carolyn said softly.
"Well, if it don't work, I guess this is some history we'll
be changing," Willie answered. He laughed nervously.
"Who's Emily?" Quentin asked mischievously.
Willie laughed nervously again. "Well, that's what I mean,
ya know? If this thing don't work, maybe there won't be no Emily."
"Willie, don't even joke about that!" Carolyn cried.
Quentin took the exit off the highway for the airport. He parked
the van. Everyone got out and looked around for the bus stop.
A limousine pulled up. The dark window rolled down and the driver
leaned out. "Loomis party?" he asked.
No one said anything; everyone was surprised and suspicious. "Yes,
this is the Loomis party," Barnabas said cautiously. "We
weren't expecting anyone to meet us here."
"Sir, I'm paid to escort you to Runway 9, where you'll be
taking a private flight to the Sao Jose dos Pinhais airport in
Parona, Brazil. You'll be met there as well, and driven to the
Hospital Angeline Carone."
This was a welcome surprise! Everyone climbed into the back of
the limosine. It was a short drive by limo to the waiting plane.
Quentin whistled. He'd recognized the plane. "Sssh,"
whispered Elizabeth. "He wouldn't want Carolyn to know yet.
It's a surprise."
The inside of the plane was like a house. Barnabas wandered around,
amazed. None of the group had ever seen anything as luxurious
as this, but he was especially impressed. The plane was getting
ready to take off, and everyone had to sit down in wide recliner
type loungers, strapping themselves in. The plane began to roll
forward, gradually picking up speed. A roaring sound filled the
cabin and the passengers felt themselves being pushed back into
their seats. This was nothing at all like a car. Barnabas' eyes
were huge, and his face was very pale. Julia squeezed his hand
comfortingly, and Barnabas shut his eyes.
"Barnabas, as many times as you've flown, don't tell me you're
getting airsick?" Quentin teased. Willie guffawed, and Barnabas'
eyes snapped open. He was pale as Swiss cheese but still managed
to glare sternly at Quentin.
"Are you all right, Barnabas?" Carolyn asked, genuinely
concerned.
"Yes, Carolyn, please don't worry," Barnabas said reassuringly.
He gave another severe look at Quentin, who arched his brows playfully
and gave a little shrug. When Carolyn looked away, Julia retaliated
by elbowing Quentin in the ribs.
"Now, now, kids," Willie said, laughing.
Carolyn looked back at them, curiously, but had learned long ago
there was no point in asking questions.
It was a long flight. Willie and Carolyn stretched out together
on one of the beds and fell asleep. Barnabas paced nervously,
unable to relax. Quentin tried approaching him several times but
Barnabas made it plain he didn't want to talk. "You'd better
just leave him alone," Julia cautioned. The landing was even
more stressful than takeoff was because the plane bumped and hopped
up and down several times before coming to a halt.
Medical attendants waited outside. One held a wheelchair by its
handles. There was a distinguished looking older man standing
with them as well, very handsomely dressed. The flight of stairs
was moved into place, and Carolyn and Willie exited the plane
first, followed by Quentin and then Julia and Barnabas.
Barnabas pulled Julia's arm, drawing his breath in sharply. They
both looked at the gentleman standing there and froze. The man
moved forward to greet Carolyn. He looked familiar to her, with
his chiseled good looks. He appeared to be in his fifties; although
his hair was snowy white, he was still ruggedly handsome and strong.
"Mrs. Loomis," he said, taking her hand.
Willie was moving very slowly, wheezing. Concerned, the man waved
the attendant with the wheelchair forward. "I hope your flight
was comfortable," the man said, trying to put Willie at ease.
Mother, who is he? Carolyn thought. Why does he look so familiar?
Before Elizabeth could answer, Quentin bounded forward, stuck
his hand out and said, "Burke! Good to see you again!"
He shook the gentleman's hand heartily, and the man grinned at
him.
"Quentin, I didn't know you were aboard," he answered
in delight.
Carolyn's hands flew to her face. It all came back to her. "Burke
Devlin!" she gasped. "You're alive!"
Willie looked up at him curiously.
"Long story, Carolyn," Burke said. "We have plenty
of time to catch up." He looked up at Barnabas and Julia.
"Welcome, Mr. Collins, Dr. Hoffman. I didn't realize you
were coming, Mr. Collins, or I might have had you arrive on the
red eye. I believe this is the first time I'm seeing you in the
light of day," he added a little sardonically.
"Well," Barnabas said airily to cover his own shock,
"there is a first time for everything, isn't there?"
He looked at Julia, who was equally stunned, took her by the elbow
and walked down the stairs. "I'm sorry," Elizabeth thought.
"I guess I should have warned you. I wasn't thinking about
all the bad feelings betwen you two."
They all fit quite comfortably into Burke's stretch limousine.
Willie, exhausted, closed his eyes. "We'll go directly to
the hospital. It won't take long to get there," Burke said.
"I have a small villa here. It's close to Hospital Angeline
Caron." He offered everyone something to drink. Only Willie
declined; he wanted to sleep.
On the drive to the hospital, Burke explained what had happened
all those years ago. His plane had actually gone down in a mountainous
area near the Amazon called the Guiana Massif; everyone had been
killed except for Burke. He remembered very little of his trip
down the mountain and into the plains; he vaguely remembered pain
and hunger and thirst but, mercifully, those memories had faded
away. He stumbled into the clearing of a small farm. There was
no transportation, so the family nursed him back to health. The
thing was, the blow to his head had caused amnesia. He didn't
remember who he was for months. By then, because of total immersion,
he'd become quite fluent in Portuguese, Spanish, and an Indian
patois. The family knew he needed medical attention, so they used
what little money they had to take him to the city to the hospital.
It was a long journey. With the help of the doctors, Burke was
able to remember who he was. Grateful to the family, he paid them
back by sending their children to school. One of them was a doctor
now, a cardiologist.
"Is that the doctor who will be seeing Willie?" Carolyn
asked curiously.
"Yes, he's brilliant, absolutely brilliant," Burke said
proudly. "He is a protege of Dr. Battista, who's perfected
the ventricular remodeling technique. He's going to be as famous
as Dr. Barnard was, and Dr. Shumway, AND Dr. DeBakey."
"Why did you never return to Collinsport?" Barnabas
asked.
Burke looked at him a little bitterly. "What makes you think
I haven't?" Then he looked at Quentin, Julia, and Carolyn,
looking at him so curiously. Julia knew about the conflict between
him and Barnabas, but the other two didn't. "I liked it here.
I made this the center of my operations," he explained. "I'm
actually doing very well here. I have a cattle ranch and a small
limestone mine. My ranch is south of here." He looked at
Carolyn directly. "I did make contact. Your mother told me
what happened to Vicki--that she'd married someone named Jeff
or something." He looked at Barnabas again, with a wry twist
of his mouth. "Must've been some shock for you, Mr. Collins."
Barnabas chose not to answer.
"Later, Mrs. Stoddard let me know that Vicki had disappeared,
and gave me the details surrounding it." He stopped; the
memory obviously was still painful to him. Burke looked at Barnabas
again. "So, you see, there was no need to come back."
Barnabas nodded, understanding.
"How did you know about us?" Carolyn asked. "How
did you know to send the plane for us and to make these arrangements?"
"Your mother told me what was happening," Burke answered
as if it was the most natural response in the world. "I wanted
to do what I could to help. I have to say, there've been some
REALLY strange things going on at Collinwood."
"What an understatement," Quentin laughed.
Julia cleared her throat curiously. "How is it you know Quentin?"
"Oh, he was working on a little investigative project in
the early 70s. I happened to be in Washington, D.C. at the same
time he was working for the Washington Post. Some minor story,
eh, Quentin?"
"Well, some of it is classified," Quentin explained
with obvious reluctance. Julia looked at him in surprise.
Burke laughed. "You ARE a family for secrets! It's no big
deal anymore. We were looking at business money being laundered
in various countries in South America at the time, including Brazil.
Think it also had to do with drugs being piped into the country,
too?"
"I'd really rather not talk about it. My sources--,"
Quentin said, obviously uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry, I keep forgetting. It's more recent for you,
isn't it?"
"So you even know when we've come from?" Carolyn asked,
curiously.
Burke gave her an enigmatic smile. "Carolyn, I know there
are REALLY strange things going on at your house."
Carolyn looked back at Quentin, who smiled slightly and shook
his head, no. Carolyn wondered just what her cousin had been up
to while he'd been away. "Sometimes you're better off not
knowing, dear," Elizabeth whispered. Carolyn sighed and closed
her eyes, too. Her mother was absolutely right.
The next thing she knew, they were pulling up to the hospital.
Carolyn began to feel frightened for the first time. Everyone
spoke a different language here. It wasn't a U.S. hospital. "Trust
me, darling, it'll be all right," her mother said to her
soothingly. Willie was wheeled to his room.
The doctor came to talk to them. He was an unprepossessing man,
slight, dark haired, and bearded, dressed in blue scrubs. He shook
hands with everyone and sat down to talk to them. He reviewed
the functioning of a normal heart. "Normally, blood flows
into the left side of the heart from the lungs, here," he
explained, indicating a picture. "This blood is rich with
oxygen. Then the heart pumps the blood back out to the rest of
the body. However, here is what is happening in the case of Mr.
Loomis." He continued with drawings of an enlarged heart.
"The heart is a muscle, you see. When it becomes so large,
it loses its elasticity and can no longer pump the blood efficiently.
Mrs. Loomis, your husband's heart pumps at about 10 per cent of
its capactiy."
Carolyn gasped.
"Yes. So you see, the blood then backs up into his heart
and lungs. This is called regurgitation, and this is what led
to his heart failure. The conventional way to treat this problem
is with digitalis to help the heart contract more strongly. Also
to give a diuretic to keep the fluids from building up, "
the doctor continued. "Sometimes other corrective steps can
be taken. For example, had Mr. Loomis experienced an infection
in his heart valves, one or both could be replaced. However, this
is not the case. And in the case of Mr. Loomis, the last resort
is heart transplant. However, the list of people needing hearts
remains long, and the list of donors remains short. I believe
this procedure will help address the dual problem of shortage
of the organ and also rejection of the new organ."
The doctor drew an imaginery line across the lower half of the
left ventricle. "What I will do is remove this portion of
Mr. Loomis' heart. I will then sew the heart chamber back together."
Julia gasped and jumped up. "That is outrageous!"
The doctor looked at her, surprised. "Dr. Hoffman, I was
under the impression belief you were aware of Dr. Battista's procedure.
Was I mistaken?"
"Doctor, how can you speak of cutting away a portion of Willie's
heart? Our job is to protect as much of the heart muscle as we
can! That muscle is not dead!"
The doctor had a weary expression on his face, as if to say, I've
been through all this before. "Dr. Hoffman, if we reduce
the size of Mr. Loomis' heart, we can increase its efficiency.
It is too large to pump well now."
"Are you the only two working on this procedure?" Julia
asked.
The doctor looked at her, startled. "For several years, yes.
But then we had visitors from the United States, from the Cleveland
Clinic Foundation. It is my understanding that they continue to
test this procedure at the clinics there. It is also my understanding
that there are other centers which are beginning to perform this
procedure on their sickest patients."
"You mean in the teaching hospitals, where the patients sign
release forms authorizing experimental treatment in case there's
a need for emergency resuscitation on a heart patient who may
die anyway?"
"Doctor, this operation has been successfully performed not
only here, but in other places in the world. One thousand people,
doctor, and 75% of them showed dramatic gains in the strength
of their heart muscle within ten days of the surgery. Most of
our patients are older. I believe Mr. Loomis has an even greater
chance because he has the advantage of his youth."
"Julia, we did come here with Elizabeth's guidance,"
Quentin put in. "Maybe we should listen."
"Doctor," Barnabas added placatingly, "I am not
sure that I understand all this. Would you mind going over it
all again for me?"
"But, of course, Mr. Collins," the doctor said patiently.
Again he explained. "You see, if we make the heart smaller,
it becomes stronger because it does not need to use as much energy
to pump the blood."
Carolyn looked back and forth between the doctor and Julia. It
sounded so--so--radical, crazy--and yet,--
"Carolyn, it's your grandmother with you now," Ruth
whispered soothingly, "we want to help you. I am here with
your mother. She wanted to help you. She knows you love your husband.
Please let us help you. Please trust us."
"Please, Carolyn," Elizabeth added. Carolyn could almost
feel her mothers arms around her. Tears began to spill from her
eyes. She wiped them away and looked at the doctor.
"I trust you," she said in a clear, strong voice. "When
can you do this operation?"
"Oh, Carolyn!" Julia groaned, and opened her mouth.
Barnabas put his hands on Julia's shoulders and said softly, "No,
Julia, don't. Quentin is right. We must trust this man."
"I will operate tomorrow," the doctor decided.
At about 4 a.m., Carolyn knocked very gently at Barnabas' door.
She wasn't worried about disturbing him, and she was right. Barnabas
was wide awake. "Would you come with me to the hospital?"
she asked.
"Of course I will, Carolyn," Barnabas said.
Willie was not in a deep sleep and woke as soon as they came into
the room. "Hey," he said, surprised. He was pleased
to see them.
Barnabas put his hand on Willie's shoulder and looked into his
eyes. He struggled with his feelings. "I know it's not easy
for you, dear cousin Barnabas," Elizabeth said softly, "but
do try. It'll mean so much to Willie. I will always regret I didn't
say anything."
"Willie," Barnabas began hoarsely. "I want to tell
you how much I--you helped me a great deal. Much more than you
can every know, and you've been such a loyal friend to me. I don't
think I ever told you how grateful I am--"
"I know, Barnabas," Willie said, trying to alleviate
Barnabas' discomfort.
"No, I need to tell you this, Willie. I know you know. But
I never told you--I never told you how much you mean to me. You
became more than just my employee a long time ago. You are even
more than a friend to me, Willie. You are my family, Willie."
Willie's eyes blurred with emotion. He'd known it, of course,
but it really did make a difference to actually hear it. Barnabas
was unable to go on any further. Embarrassed and flustered, he
gripped Willie's shoulder tightly. "I will pray for you,
my dear friend. I think I should let you be alone with your wife."
He backed out of the room and shut the door softly behind him.
Carolyn and Willie clasped hands. Carolyn sensed his fear; this
was a very radical, dramatic step they were taking. "Carolyn,
I think we oughta talk about a few things before the surgery,"
Willie was saying.
"No, Willie, don't say anything. We have to be hopeful."
"'Hope is the thing with feathers--That perches in the soul--And
sings the tune without the words--and never stops--at all,'"
Willie quoted with a gentle smile.
"What's that? It's so pretty!" Carolyn asked, moved.
Her eyes were welling with tears again.
"I guess you didn't know old Willie knew anything about poetry,"
Willie said, sounding a little pleased with himself.
"Why, no, I didn't," Carolyn said, quite surprised.
"Well, see, sometimes, I liked to read late at night instead
of takin walks. I'm not much for novels, you know, but I do like
a little poetry."
"Who is it?"
"Emily Dickinson. She sure is easy to read. She says everything
in just a few short words, you know?"
"Yes," Carolyn said, and stopped, overcome with emotion.
How had she never known this?
"Carolyn, you remember how you wanted to get married at Easter
because it was gonna give us a new start? That's what hope is
all about. You know it deep down inside. Want to hear another
one?" Willie sounded eager, almost childish in his desire
to surprise and please Carolyn. She nodded speechlessly.
He thought. "Let's see, umm...'Spring is the period Express
from God. Among the other seasons Himself abide, But during March
and April None stir abroad Without a cordial interview With God.'
Carolyn, this is about you and me. It's spring again, and this
is our interview. We're blessed, you know that?" He noticed
her tears. "Hey, you're crying!" He sounded alarmed.
"It's all right, Willie. I just feel happy. I know everything
is going to be all right now."
Willie moved far over on the bed. "Here, lie down with me."
Carolyn stretched out alongside Willie, and put her head on his
shoulder. They waited for the orderlies to come.
After Willie was taken down for surgery, Burke offered to take
everyone out to get away from the hospital for a while. The surgery
would take hours. Carolyn politely declined, and Julia and Barnabas
felt they should keep her company. Quentin, who was nervous and
restless as a cat, was only too happy to go off with Burke.
Carolyn was serenely patient; Barnabas paced nervously, and Julia
squeezed her hands. "It would seem that WE are the ones who
need the reassurance," Julia said with a small smile.
Carolyn smiled. "My mother is in there, too. I know it will
be all right."
Elizabeth's first reaction to the operation room was one of revulsion;
then she thought, what is so awful about this? She became interested
in the goings-on. Ruth was frankly curious. All of this was beyond
her understanding. She only knew that it WAS. Elizabeth watched
as Willie's heart was stopped; he was placed on a heart-lung machine
while the doctor worked on his heart. It was a pain-staking procedure.
"This is absolutely remarkable!" Elizabeth marvelled.
Willie's heart looked enormous in the doctor's hands. He deftly
cut away what seemed to be a very large slice, leaving a portion
about the size of the doctor's fist. Now the doctor was closing
Willie's heart with sutures. Elizabeth sent frequent messages
to Carolyn, whose sense of well being increased with each message.
The doctor spoke in another language to his colleagues, but Elizabeth
understood him very well. "Let's see if we can get this one
going again." Elizabeth watched and waited during the flurry
of activity. She saw the heart turn pink and then dark red. It
began beating, strongly. "It's over darling," she thought.
"And he's all right."
In the waiting room, Carolyn breathed a sigh of relief. "The
surgery is over, and Willie is just fine!" she exclaimed
joyfully.
In all, Willie was in the hospital ten days, progressing from
cardiac intensive care, to intensive care, to post op, to a normal
room. He was miserably uncomfortable and afraid to cough--he felt
as if he might crack in two. He didn't complain very much because
it felt so good to be alive. Sometimes he thought he could hear
Elizabeth speaking to him soothingly, reassuringly before he'd
drop off to sleep. When he was able to walk, he didn't really
want to stop and sit down to rest--it had been so long. The doctor,
listening to Willie's chest, made the OK sign with his thumb and
forefinger. "Sounds strong. Loud," he said jubilantly.
"I see a normal life span for this young man. I don't foresee
any complications."
Julia listened for herself and had to agree. When the doctor began
to discuss follow-up care, Barnabas tapped Julia on the shoulder
and indicated he wanted to speak to her in the hall. "Julia,
what is Willie's doctor going to think when he sees what's happened?"
Barnabas asked worriedly.
Julia shrugged. "The sutures are self-dissolving. Perhaps
we can convince Willie and Carolyn to go to another cardiologist.
I suppose I can come up with something to make it seem as though
he's had a transplant; that would explain the scar on Willie's
chest. Cardiac testing isn't as advanced in 1979 as it is now."
She thought. "There have been inexplicable miracles in medicine
before, Barnabas. I don't think that the doctor will be able to
tell what's happened. All he will know is that by physical exam,
Willie will have a normal sized heart. He won't the truth without
more surgery, and it doesn't seem that Willie will need any."
"And what about the medication?"
"Well, the cardiologist can prescribe whatever he wants,
and Willie can just throw away the scrips if he doesn't need them."
"This all seems so complicated!"
"Well, haven't I said that we've lied ourselves out of much
worse situations than this? Don't worry, Barnabas. We'll always
think of something."
When Willie was ready to be discharged from the hospital, Burke
had his limousine pick the family up and take them back to the
airport where his jet was waiting to take them back home. Willie's
face was full of color, and he was quite unlike the sick man who'd
first arrived. He and Carolyn sat with fingers intertwined, taking
new delight in each other. Quentin also had a very satisfied expression
on his face. "Like the cat that got into the cream,"
Elizabeth thought. Quentin smiled, thinking Elizabeth would prefer
not to know what he'd been into. Elizabeth laughed.
Burke took Carolyn by the hand. "Come back and see me in
twenty years," he said, smiling gently. "I'd like to
see what you REALLY look like then."
"Thank you for everything," Carolyn said gratefully,
throwing her arms around him.
Burke shook Willie's hand heartily. "You'll be back, too,"
he said.
"Yeah, I didn't get to see much this time around," Willie
replied with a warm smile.
"Quentin," Burke said, thumping his old friend on the
shoulder. "You'll never grow up." He took Julia's hand
briefly and stiffly shook Barnabas' hand.
Once on the plane and seated, Quentin removed a flask from inside
his jacket and unscrewed the top. Barnabas eyed it. "Ah,
Quentin," he said. "Would you mind--?" Quentin
grinned indulgently and handed the flask to his cousin. Julia
sighed and rolled her eyes.
This time, Julia dozed and Barnabas slept deeply for most of the
flight. Carolyn, Willie, and Quentin were too upbeat and excited
to really relax. They talked and laughed through the entire flight.
Sometimes they would take a peek at Barnabas, exchange looks,
and burst out laughing. At the airport, they looked for the van,
but it was nowhere to be found. "It's not here anymore,"
Elizabeth said. "It was reported stolen and the police have
it."
"I guess the joke's on us," said Quentin. "We better
catch a ride back to the airport and either rent a car or get
a cab."
"Let's rent a car. I am not feeling up to making small talk
with a cab driver," said Barnabas.
"Hey, let's not get the shuttle," Willie said. "Let's
walk."
"Willie, don't over do it," Julia cautioned.
"Well, let's just walk over to the next parking lot,"
Carolyn compromised. "Then we'll catch the shuttle."
It was actually a good idea, because Willie was rather tired by
the time they came to the next shuttle stop. It felt good, though.
He wasn't out of breath, just tired.
There were three young people waiting at the shuttle stand. Willie
happened to glance over at them, and then he gawked. He poked
Carolyn, who poked Quentin. Soon they were all staring, and trying
hard not to be obvious about it. One of the young people had died
fushia hair which stuck up in spikes all over her head and an
earring through her nose. Her lips and nails were painted black.
The young man sitting next to her was dressed in black leather.
His ear was pierced with about a dozen small rings. The third
young woman was also dressed in black and seemed to have a mouth
full of gum. She noticed the Collinses were staring at her and
her friends. She looked at them, insulted, and opened her mouth
to show them a huge golden stud pierced through her tongue. She
waggled it up, down, and around her mouth.
Barnabas was appalled. "My God!" he said, thunderstruck.
"Why would someone mutilate herself that way?"
"All young people have to be different," Julia explained.
"That's never changed."
The three young people got up, glared resentfully at the Collinses,
and sauntered away. The young woman looked back at Barnabas. "Dincha
mother ever teach you any manners, mister? Doncha know it's rude
to stare? Yo, man, get a life why doncha?"
Carolyn, Willie, and Quentin collapsed against each other, laughing
and whooping. "This place is SCARY," Willie laughed,
his eyes streaming tears. "I wanna go home, honey!"
"I certainly hope nothing else happens tonight! Really, this
time period is just too bizarre!" Barnabas complained.
"I'm just curious to see how we get from hippies to--to--whatever
they call themselves," Julia said, with an amused smile.
Barnabas suddenly smiled too.
Now they were descending the staircase, and Willie fairly raced
down the steps. He didn't need any assistance at all. From the
staircase, it was a short trip to the Shaws' home. The doctor
had cautioned Willie against lifting anything heavier than 15
pounds for several weeks, but he was able to carry Libby when
Maggie placed her in his arms. Sebastian handed a sleepy Jamie
over to Carolyn and winked at her again. "Mommy, daddy, the
ether bunny was here," little Jamie said drowsily, only half-awake.
Julia drove them all home, in a sensible box style van. By the
time she pulled up to Willie and Carolyn's little house, Quentin
was sound asleep with little Jamie leaning against him also softly
snoring. Barnabas and Julia helped Willie and Carolyn get the
children into the house. Barnabas retrieved their bags and carried
them in. Willie was suddenly embarrassed. This role reversal still
made him uncomfortable. As if he sensed it, Barnabas said gently,
"You really are my family, Willie."
"Thanks for coming, Barnabas. It meant a lot to have you
there helpin me," Willie said sincerely. Julia embraced both
Willie and Carolyn; Barnabas hugged Carolyn, and then they left.
Quentin hadn't moved a muscle. That was all right, Carolyn was
sure he'd be around in the next day or two.
Willie and Carolyn put the children to bed. They were both very
tired, climbing into bed, holding each other. They talked softly
and drowsily. "Hey, I hope we remember to go see that movie.
'Specially since it's best picture. Especially now that it looks
like this heart is gonna go on and on." Willie yawned.
"I think I'd like to hear the whole song. It was so pretty
and so sad. Do you know any more Emily Dickinson poems?"
Carolyn asked.
"Oh, sure, lots," Willie answered. "She wrotes
lots of poems about death, though, ya know? Maybe that's why I
liked her so much when I was sad."
"Mmm," Carolyn murmurered. "I just thought you
might tell me another poem."
"Oh!" Willie was pleased. Elizabeth watched him use
the last little bit of energy he had, searching his memory. "I
got one," he said finally, with another yawn. "'So much
depends upon a red wheel barrow glazed with rain water beside
the white chickens.'"
The words penetrated Carolyn's brain and nearly woke her up because
they were so unsual, especially for a bedtime poem. "Is that
Emily Dickinson again? I don't think I understand it."
"Nah, that one was by a guy named William Carlos Williams.
He gave his poems names. He called this one 'The Red Wheelbarrow.'
I just thought of it cause it's like what really counts in life
is what you don't really see--you know, the everyday stuff like
a wheelbarrow on a farm." He closed his eyes, hearing Elizabeth
whisper softly, "I'll always love you, Willie. What a wonderful
son you are!" as he drifted off to sleep. Carolyn kissed
him, very gently.
Just before she fell asleep, she saw her mother approach the bed.
She'd been expecting her; she knew she'd see her one more time.
"Thank you, Mother, thank you for my life," Carolyn
whispered, filled with emotion. Elizabeth sat beside her daughter
on the bed, stroking her hair. "Do you have to leave me,
Mama? I want you to stay." Carolyn realized she sounded like
a little child.
"I'll never really be far away from you, Carolyn," Elizabeth
said. "And we'll be together again when it's time. But now
it's time for your life to go on. It's spring, Carolyn, time for
everything to be born new again. And if you look hard enough,
Carolyn, you will see me. I'll always be part of you and a part
of the little ones."
Elizabeth waited for Carolyn to drift peacefully off to sleep.
She found her mother again. "Be at peace, Elizabeth, darling,"
said Ruth, smiling. "We can go now."
The sound of the baby crying woke Carolyn in the early hours of
the morning. She stumbled sleepily to the Libby's crib. She wanted
to make sure Willie slept on, undisturbed. Carrying Libby with
her into the living room, she sat down on the sofa and turned
on the radio. She put the baby to her breast, absently going over
in her mind the miraculous events of the past few weeks.
Elizabeth watched, totally content, surrounded by her mother,
father, and beloved family and friends. She felt totally at peace,
but wished for one more thing. "Go ahead, Elizabeth, you
know how," her mother said.
Carolyn felt a hand caress her cheek. Startled, she realized Libby
had reached up with her chubby hand and touched her. "Hey,
you're pretty clever," Carolyn said amused. She realized
that Libby was looking directly at her. There was something about
her eyes--Carolyn gave a little start, feeling herself being drawn
into the baby's eyes. They were Mama's eyes, but they were also
her daughter's eyes. Carolyn felt her heart swell to near bursting.
She felt a surge of feeling coursing through her body that set
her tingling. "You know what, Libby," Carolyn said with
deep passion, "I really love YOU." She closed her eyes.
She saw her Mama's face. She saw another young face with similar
features: Libby, with thick dark hair and bright blue eyes. It
was spring. It was time for life to begin again.