Easter Miracle

By Cassandra Rademacher


When Elizabeth opened her eyes, she was a little frightened because she was in the dark and couldn't see. It reminded her very much of the time she'd been under Cassandra's spell. The only difference was that she could move now. In fact, she felt as if she were floating. It was a very odd sensation; the last thing she'd remembered seeing was the stricken face of her daughter Carolyn bending over her. A soft glow began to illuminate the room. With surprise, Elizabeth realized she was in a hospital room. There was something strange about her perspective, though...
As the light became brighter, Elizabeth realized why her it seemed so strange. She was up, on the ceiling practically, looking down at the objects in the room. There was a form lying on the bed below. I think that's me, Elizabeth thought in a detached way.
The bright light was becoming quite distracting. Elizabeth realized that someone was walking toward her, and she peered closely, trying to see who it was. To her great pleasure, she saw it was her mother. She hadn't seen Mama since the night she'd died in the accident, when Elizabeth was just six years old. Her mother looked youthful, beautiful, the same as she had that evening when she'd kissed Elizabeth goodbye and promised to return someday.
"I've come for you," her mother said, "just as I promised, darling."
Elizabeth wanted to go to her. It had been so long, too long, since she'd felt the embrace of love from her mother. She had given many hugs and kisses to her daughter, to her brother, and to the rest of her family, but she had always keenly missed the hugs of her own mama. Still, Elizabeth hesitated.
"Elizabeth?" her mother asked quietly. She stretched her arms out.
"Mama, I want to go with you," Elizabeth said hesitantly, "but I can't."
"But it's time, my darling," her mother replied softly.
"I have a feeling Carolyn needs me," Elizabeth said.
"Yes, but there is nothing else you can do for her," her mother replied sadly. "You won't be able to help her by hanging on. It will only prolong her pain."
Still Elizabeth hesitated. It was inexplicable. She felt she should go, it WAS time, but there was an irresistible tug on her sleeve. "But I must try," Elizabeth said finally. "I must at least see her before I come with you."
"That is the usual way, of course," her mother said mildly. "I did not want to go, either. I came to you in the middle of the night."
"Yes, I remember."
"Then do as you must, darling. Perhaps there is something I can do to help you with Carolyn. There are many guardians here. I will consult with them, and then I will return, my darling." The light began to go out as Ruth Collins faded away. Elizabeth felt incredibly lonely. She expected to return into her own body; she'd heard of these types of experiences. However, that didn't happen. She floated, feeling confused and unhappy.
She began to sense the approach of another. With joy, she realized her mother had returned. "Elizabeth, many wonderful things happen here, what we would call miracles. We will help Carolyn and that will help you find peace as well. You need to move on, yet you are not able to. What is wrong?"
Elizabeth felt very confused. "I feel that I have to help Carolyn somehow," she explained.
"You aren't able to help her in your worldly body. I am sorry, but you were too seriously ill--a stroke, I believe your friend Dr. Hoffman said. You wouldn't ever be able to speak to her," Ruth explained. Elizabeth felt that this was something she knew already, and she felt a sense of despair. Sensing this, Ruth went on, "Maybe you can communicate with Carolyn from this plane. I would be happy to help you do that."
"Oh, I would be so grateful," Elizabeth said hopefully.
"Allow your self to become completely free of your body so that you are free to join with me and others of your family."
It was easier than Elizabeth thought possible. She imagined reeling out a long, fragile line, almost like an umbilical cord, and then she was no longer in the hospital room. She knew she wasn't speaking or hearing, yet somehow both seemed to be happening. She sensed the presence of others about her, and she felt content for the moment.
"Why don't you tell me about Carolyn so that I might understand how to help you," Ruth prompted. The words were like comforting feelings of warmth and support.
Elizabeth focused her thoughts toward her mother, trying to explain that her concern for Carolyn actually went much further back, far back to the death of her son-in-law, Jeb.
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For a long, long time, Carolyn was withdrawn and silent in her grief. Elizabeth could only watch helplessly, trying to comfort her daughter but unable to reach her in the depths of her despair. Elizabeth turned to Maggie Shaw for help, but since her marriage to Sebastian Carolyn had politely but effectively avoided her old friend.
Carolyn was unable to sleep; she took to walking for long periods of time through the woods at all times of the night. Although there hadn't been any attacks for a long period of time, Elizabeth and Roger worried and tried to advise her not to go out alone. Sometimes Carolyn's temper would flare and she would explode in anger.
"Julia, I don't know what to do," Elizabeth confided helplessly.
"She really hasn't had much time to accept all of this," Julia explained, trying to be helpful. "Grief is something that can't be measured. So much time goes by and then you should be 'over it.' Usually it takes at least six months to a year before someone begins to recover from a loss like Carolyn's suffered."
"She's always had such a hard time," Elizabeth exclaimed. "I feel as though I should've protected her better!"
Julia patted Elizabeth's arm comfortingly. "You've done the best you possibly could. All you can do is be with her. Would you like me to try to talk to her? Perhaps I can give her something to treat her depression so that she is able so sleep a little easier at night."
"Please," Elizabeth replied gratefully.
But Carolyn had rejected Julia coldly. "I don't need to be drugged up," she snapped. "There is nothing wrong with the way I feel. I loved Jeb. I SHOULD be sad!"
Elizabeth mentioned her concern to Barnabas, too. "I worry about her because of her insomnia. She gets up in the middle of the night and just goes out. I wish she would wake me and talk to me. Maybe then I could help her. I don't know where she goes. I worry something might happen to her." Barnabas listened quietly and sympathetically, keeping his own counsel. He suspected where Carolyn might be going.
"I am up frequently in the night as you know," Barnabas said. "I will try to watch for her, as will Willie."
Elizabeth had mixed feelings about that. "WILLIE?" she asked doubtfully, her voice scaling up a little.
"Willie is not the person he was," Barnabas said.
Elizabeth didn't feel reassured.

One night, Elizabeth got up to find Carolyn already gone. She went down to the kitchen and put on a pot of water to boil. She sat down to wait. Two cups of tea later, the kitchen door opened and Carolyn walked in with Barnabas. Carolyn looked grim and when she saw her mother, an irritated expression crossed her face. "Mother, you shouldn't be up," Carolyn complained.
"I couldn't sleep, either," Elizabeth explained. "I looked for you, hoping you might keep me company."
Carolyn grimaced. "Well, Barnabas FOUND me, thank you very much." She looked from Barnabas to Elizabeth. "Well?" she demanded in a challenging way. "Don't you want to know where he found me?"
Elizabeth didn't know quite what to say. "Well, not if you don't want to tell me," she said finally, looking at Barnabas.
"Well, I was at Widow's Hill!" Carolyn said defiantly. She looked at Barnabas and snapped, "And I had no intention of jumping, either!"
"I didn't for a moment think you were," Barnabas said soothingly, reaching out toward Carolyn in a motion of compassion. But Carolyn was angry and jerked away.
"There's nothing wrong with my going there!" she insisted. "I don't need you following me around like I'm some hopeless case!"
"Carolyn, I assure you that was not my intent at all," Barnabas explained. "As I told you, I only happened to be out walking myself. Please, Carolyn, you must remember that this is not unusual for me. I have been a nocturnal wanderer ever since I arrived here. Surely you must remember that."
Carolyn began to look mollified. "Yes, that's true," she conceded at last. She looked at her mother and said, exasperated, "It's just that no one seems to understand that I need to be alone to think!"
"Carolyn, I do understand," Elizabeth said earnestly. "I only wish that you would reconsider going out alone in the dark."
"Oh, Mother, please, don't start," Carolyn said, instantly irritable again.
Elizabeth immediately backed off. She didn't want to alienate her daughter. "Would you like some tea, darling? Barnabas?"
"Thank you, I believe I will," Barnabas said agreeably. After a moment, Carolyn nodded in agreement. They made pleasant small talk and Carolyn even began to smile after a while.

"This is something you didn't know, my dear. Not only did I watch over you, I watched over my little granddaughter, too. I was concerned for her, and so I also looked to see how other members of the family were helping," Ruth explained. In the early hours of the morning, Barnabas returned to the Old House. He was deeply concerned about Carolyn's depression in spite of her reassurances that she didn't plan to jump off Widow's Hill. Willie was just beginning to rake the ashes out of the fireplace, where embers just barely glowed. "Oh, hiya, Barnabas, kinda late, ain't it?" Willie said in greeting.
"Willie," Barnabas began, "I need you to do something for me."
"Okay, sure," Willie said agreeably. "What is it?"
"I'm very worried about Carolyn," Barnabas explained. "I'd like you to keep an eye on her for me as much as you possibly can."
Willie looked uncomfortable. He shifted his feet, rubbed the back of his neck. "Well," he said finally, "sure I can do that for ya Barnabas, but ya know me and Carolyn, we don't get along so good."
"I understand your past difficulties," Barnabas answered. "I don't mean for you to make yourself obvious, following her around or trying to talk to her. It's just that she keeps wandering up to Widow's Hill..." his voice trailed off, and his face looked pained.
"Okay," Willie said, in a stronger, surer voice. "I'd be glad to try and keep an eye on her. I know she's been really sad, and I wouldn't want nothin to happen to her."

"Oh," Elizabeth suddenly understood. "Thank you for telling me that. I never knew quite how it all started with Willie and Carolyn."
"It was a good thing, Elizabeth," Ruth responded reassuringly. "I know how the family felt about Willie Loomis. He really was a no-good scoundrel when he arrived in Collinsport. He went through some dramatic changes for the better."
"Yes," Elizabeth agreed. "Hard to believe. I imagine Carolyn realized he was following her?"
If it was possible to smile, Ruth did it, warmly. "Carolyn is a very bright young woman," she said.

Carolyn was no happier the first time she ran into Willie than she had been to meet Barnabas. She regarded him suspiciously. Willie, uncomfortable, tried to think of something intelligent to say. Finally, he blurted, "I was just missing Roxanne, my fiancee."
Carolyn wasn't expecting that. "Oh. Oh! You were going to marry her, weren't you? What happened, Willie?"
"Oh, she just--well, she--ah, she just left me. She didn't wanna wait for me."
"I'm sorry, Willie," Carolyn said with genuine sympathy.
"Thanks, Carolyn," Willie replied, smiling a little. "I mean, ah, you don't hafta feel sorry. I mean, ah, with what happened to you an all--" He broke off, realizing he might upset her, and looked away.
"It's all right, Willie," Carolyn said. "It's all right to talk about Jeb. I can't NOT talk about him."
"Yeah, I know," Willie agreed. "Y'can't pretend like he was never there. It's like it hurts to think about it but it hurts more not to think about it." Carolyn stopped and looked at Willie closely, wide-eyed. Willie blushed. "I'm sorry, Carolyn. I'm always sayin the wrong damn thing."
"Willie, you stop that!" Carolyn said, with feeling. "I'm not upset! I just didn't think anyone understood how I felt!"
Willie looked at her in great surprise. Then he nodded his head slightly. "So, ah, you wanna walk a ways together?" he asked.
"Yes, I would," Carolyn said.

They became friends. They walked together at night and during some afternoons, too. Elizabeth fretted. She wasn't sure she approved. Willie had been such an unscrupulous character; could he be trusted? She wished Barnabas wasn't away on business so much; she wished Cousin Quentin would come back. Roger was very blunt about it. "She'd be much better off with her cousins than that nefarious character! I should speak to Barnabas about it!"
"No, no, Roger!" Elizabeth protested. "Carolyn is so sensitive. She's befriended Willie. It wouldn't be right--"
Roger grumbled and poured himself a drink. "Why should she want to be friends someone character like that, Liz? There are so many others so much better suited for her!"
"She doesn't want that, Roger, she just wants a friend."
"Well, all right, then, there are so many others who would make more suitable friends! Why can't Carolyn spend more time with Maggie?"
"I think Maggie's happiness with Sebastian upsets her. She also thought that Sebastian looked too much like Jeb for comfort," Elizabeth explained. "I am sure it is especially hard for her to be around Maggie, especially now that Maggie is having a baby. I just hope Maggie really understands, as she says she does."
"Well, that Loomis is nowhere near Carolyn's class and level of breeding!" Roger continued to complain. Elizabeth agreed but decided to keep silent.
"How very much like his grandfather Roger is," Ruth commented. "It's surprising, really, because your grandfather really didn't go on very much longer after the car accident. I suppose it was the shock of everything that happened."
"So you've been watching us all these years?" Elizabeth asked, wonderingly.
"More so in the beginning, before I was willingly to accept that much was out of my control."
"I used to dream you were with me sometimes," Elizabeth said wistfully.
"I was," Ruth said simply. "When I felt things were going well, I could turn my attention elsewhere. One of those times was when I realized how contented Carolyn was. I knew you were not content, but I have learned over the years that some things must just be."
Elizabeth didn't answer. She wasn't quite sure she liked the idea.
Time passed. Carolyn announced she wanted a career; she wanted to take classes at night. She didn't want anything to do with the cannery and was uninterested in business. She wanted to teach preschool. She got a job at a preschool in Rockport, and Willie drove her to and from work. Sometimes he'd take her to her class and then pick her up. They'd go out for a drink and just talk. Elizabeth wasn't sure what to make of it.
"I've come to realize that not only is Willie a good friend, he is also safe," Elizabeth explained to Julia over tea.
"In what way?" Julia asked.
"Well, Carolyn has absolutely no interest in dating anyone and by being with Willie as much as she is, no one will ask her out," Elizabeth explained. "By the way, how is Barnabas? He looks rather ill." Barnabas had only very recently stopped going on so many frequent day trips. Once in a while, he came in the early morning for coffee or tea but looked tired and pale.
"He's just recovering from a virus," Julia replied, and abruptly switched back to the topic of Carolyn. "Do other people think they're dating?"
"I don't think they know WHAT to think," Elizabeth replied, wryly noting to herself that the same could be said of Julia and Barnabas. "Willie's not possessive of her; he's as polite and proper as can be. However, they are seen so often together that I am sure that people think they are seeing each other."
"It's been almost four years since Jeb died," Julia remarked. "It's a shame that she seems to show no interest in forming any permanent attachments to anyone else."
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows and thought how ironic it was that Julia would say such a thing. But then, one didn't know quite what was going on with Julia, did one? "Perhaps she feels she'll never love anyone else."
"She's really not giving herself an opportunity to find out," Julia said.
Elizabeth elected not to reply to that at all, and Julia moved on to another topic. Roger fumed and complained about it as well. "It's not normal, it really isn't, Liz! She's so young, and she has no social life!"
"I wouldn't say that," Elizabeth objected. "She does go out with friends of hers from work and from school. She has begun visiting Maggie again."
Roger glared. "Oh, Liz, you know what I'm talking about! Yes, she has friends, and yes, she sees Maggie. She absolutely dotes on their little girl. You see what a devoted godmother she is to Adrienne? She should be married again and have children of her own!"
"Roger, look at you and me. Have we set such a good example? I think Carolyn is living a more normal life than you or I did at her age."
That effectively shut Roger up.

Quentin returned after his extensive travels just before New Year's Eve of 1975, and he brought music and laughter with him. "He hadn't aged a day," Elizabeth marvelled, remembering that the Shaws had invited several friends to their home for a New Year's Eve party, including Quentin, who had entertained everyone with his stories about travels around the country. He also became joyously drunk and practically had to be carried inside the house by Willie and Carolyn. "And, he didn't have a hangover, either."
"Hmm, I have a little surprise to share with you later," Ruth said teasingly. "Our family is full of surprises. But tell me more--what happened then?"
Carolyn had graduated and was now teaching in a Montessori preschool. She wasn't having as much trouble sleeping anymore but still enjoyed early morning walks and talks with Willie. They were taking coffee together on the drawing room and had the radio playing nearby when Quentin came strolling by. He was just coming in after a late night out partying. He was very cheerful and very dishevelled.
"Quentin, you never change," Carolyn said, smiling in greeting. "Don't you ever get tired? You have more energy than my three year old class!"
"What are you saying here?" Quentin asked good humoredly.
Just then, a song by the Four Seasons came on the radio. Carolyn had heard it before; it was a cute song, and she'd always liked Frankie Vallee's voice. Quentin began dancing, moving easily to the music. "What's that?" Carolyn asked. She'd never seen those steps before. She was used to the freestyle "do your own thing" dancing of the 60s and early 70s.
"You've never seen this?" Quentin was surprised."Everyone's doing it. Come here, I'll show you." He held his arms out, and Carolyn jumped up, moving into his arms. Quentin pulled her close to him, and they began moving around the room together. Willie realized, to both his surprise and his dismay, that they looked graceful dancing together.
Carolyn was laughing. "Just follow me," Quentin said, whirling her around. Then he pulled her close again, and they danced, hip to hip.
"What is this?" Carolyn asked, in delight.
"It's called 'the hustle'", Quentin explained.
Willie sat up straight. "HUH?" He knew what a hustle was, and they didn't look like two cousins at the moment. He felt himself becoming irritable and miserably jealous.
"It's really a big deal now," Quentin continued. "I really like it because I really feel like I'm dancing again. It feels good to hold a woman in your arms and dance romantically together, not three feet apart--you know?" The song was coming to the end, and Quentin danced Carolyn back to the sofa. He glanced at Willie's face and instantly understood clearly what Willie was thinking.
"Willie, you try," Quentin urged.
"Nah, the song's OVER," Willie said grumpily.
"Well, I've got it upstairs. I'll bring down a record player."
Now Willie was a little alarmed. "I dunno how to do that dance, Quentin!"
"It's easy," Quentin urged. "I can teach you!"
Willie opened his mouth to answer, but Carolyn cut in: "Oh, that's a great idea! It really is a lot of fun, Willie!"
Willie shrugged. "Okay, Carolyn, sure," he said agreeably.
Quentin bounded off to find a portable record player and his 45 of the song. He returned with the record player, the record, and a very sleepy David. David was in his first year of college and usually slept in on Saturdays. He was very curious to find out why his cousin had burst into his room and torn it apart, looking for the record player. Quentin set up the record to play and then said to Willie, "Look, just come and stand next to me. Follow my feet, okay? Ever done any ballroom dancing?"
"What, are you kidding?" Willie exclaimed. The music started again, and Quentin began moving. Willie began copying his movements, very tentatively at first.
"Oh, yeah, I've seen that," David exclaimed, interested. "Not to that song, though."
"You can do this dance to just about anything," Quentin said. "Come on, David!" David joined Willie on the other side. Carolyn clapped her hands in delight. Willie loosened up. It felt kind of natural to him.
Quentin picked the needle up and moved it to the beginning of the song again. "Now, you dance with Carolyn. You lead--that means she'll follow you, so her steps will mirror yours-- you see?"
Willie nodded, and eagerly held his arms out to Carolyn. Quentin started the music again. "Oh what a night, late December back in '63. What a very special time for me. As I remember, what a night," Willie heard in his head as he moved to the music. He'd heard the song before and knew what it was about, but it had an entirely different meaning now. He really felt like he was floating. Willie was looking at Carolyn, and she was looking back at him. He felt like he was falling down into her eyes, and the words resounded loudly in his head. "...She was everything I dreamed she'd be...I felt a rush like a rolling bolt of thunder Straining my head around and taking my body under...Oh what a night..." The song ended, but Willie and Carolyn went on for a few steps more, both of them just staring at each other. Then Willie leaned down and kissed Carolyn.
David's mouth fell wide open. Quentin grabbed him by the arm and pulled him toward the door. "Come on, David, let's see what other records you've got." They stopped short because Elizabeth was in the doorway, staring at Carolyn and Willie. Elizabeth, who'd heard the music being repeated over and over and who'd come down to find out what was going on, couldn't have been more horrified.
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Elizabeth looked at her reflection in the mirror and sighed. Her light blue gown was lovely, and really was agreeable to her skin tone and hair coloring. She smiled and tried to mean it. Then she sighed again.
"Why were you so unhappy?" her mother wondered. "They were in love. What a special kind of love, too, because it developed out of such a strong friendship."
"I know," Elizabeth sighed. "I really should be ashamed of myself. I just didn't think he was good enough for her. She's so smart, and he's so--"
"Dumb?" Ruth asked. "Low class?"
"Well," Elizabeth was embarrassed. "But a HANDYMAN!"
"He could've stayed a con man, like Jason McGuire. Or perhaps a lady's man, like Paul Stoodard," Ruth pointed out, mildly ironic.
Elizabeth couldn't respond.
"Oh, dear, I was so worried. I wanted to do something, but I had moved on to a level where you really have to be an archangel to do much of anything that is noticeable. It's so much easier from here where the ties are so much stronger." Ruth noticed Elizabeth's stricken silence. "Please don't feel badly," Ruth said apologetically. "All mothers want the best for their children. They just don't always recognize what the best is."
"Yes," Elizabeth agreed, feeling a little sad.
"What is it?"
"I just wish I had totally accepted him. I tried to, but I think they knew how I really felt. I know they knew quite clearly how Roger felt. That's why they moved into town."
Even before the wedding, the young couple announced their plans to move into a little house in Collinsport. They politely refused used of the caretaker's cottage, rooms at Collinwood, and rooms at the Old House. They wanted to be alone. They wanted to make a home of their own. Carolyn convinced Willie to get married on Easter Sunday. "It'll be symbolic of a new beginning for both of us," she said.
Maggie was Carolyn's matron of honor; Sebastian, who'd gone establishment and now devoted his talents to investment brokerage (and was doing very well), agreed to be Willie's best man. Roger very nearly refused to give Carolyn away. He "gave in", as he put it, only out of his love for Carolyn.
Willie continued to keep the grounds at the Old House, and Carolyn kept teaching. They began going around with Quentin and his frequent dates to the movies and to the new dance clubs called "discos". They had to travel all the way into Bangor for that, and it turned into a weekend party when they would go. The new dance steps were fun and easy to learn.
Several times, they met Chris and Sabrina there. Carolyn was delighted to see them again; she hadn't seen them in years. They'd adopted a couple of children; Amy was babysitting them. Carolyn found out, to her surprise, that David was a frequent visitor--visiting Amy, that is. Quentin also spent a lot of time with them, too--doing what, Carolyn wondered. She didn't know that they had all that much in common, although Quentin and Chris seemed to get on well.
"It all seemed to be going very well for them," Elizabeth commented. "They were happy and got on well together. They had a little home of their own. Before long, Carolyn was pregnant. I wasn't sure how I felt. I was glad for her, but still very worried. I still wasn't sure I trusted Willie."
"Sometimes things fall apart when everything's going well," Ruth remarked. "How well I remember that! Roger was newly born, and Jamison and I had begun to draw close again--and then there was the car accident."
"Yes, it seems like there's always been some kind of curse on us so that we can never be completely happy," Elizabeth agreed. "It all began to fall apart soon after Jamie was born. They were so excited. They just knew they were going to have a boy. Carolyn had dreams about it. They wanted to name the baby for someone important to us. Barnabas insisted his name was too old fashioned, so they chose Jamison, for Father."
"I know, and he is so proud."
"They also wanted to name the baby after Willie, so he became Jamison William." Elizabeth thought she would smile broadly if she could. "What a beautiful, happy baby! He always gurgling and cooing. It was always a pleasure to take care of him!"
"But..."
Willie would stay up most of the night with the baby to try and give Carolyn a break. She was so tired, and the baby nursed almost round the clock. He wasn't really sleeping during the night yet. He'd sleep like a rock all day long and have a 3 or 4 hour wakeful period at 2 a.m. Willie began to look haggard, too. He developed a persistent cough.
"You had some problems, too," Ruth commented. "I felt drawn to you once again."
"Yes, at about the same time, I began to feel light headed. Sometimes, my arm would feel heavy--almost too heavy to move. Julia said my blood pressure was high. She had me take some medicine. It was worse with Willie. We didn't know how seriously ill he was. We just thought he was over tired and run down."
Climbing the stairs at the Old House, Willie would pause at the top to catch his breath. "Willie, are you quite all right?" Barnabas asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Barnabas, just gotta kick this cold," Willie wheezed, coughing.
One night, after Carolyn had put little Jamie to bed, she realized she could hear Willie's labored breathing all the way up stairs. Alarmed, she ran down the stairs to the living room. Willie was just watching television, but his face had a gray pallor to it. "Willie!" Carolyn cried.
"Geez, Carolyn, I guess I must be pretty sick," Willie said. "I'm freezing."
Carolyn called Collinwood, looking for Julia. Elizabeth sent Quentin to the Old House to fetch her.
Julia listened to Willie's lungs and heart. She thumped his chest with her fingers. She stood with her back to Carolyn. She looked up at Barnabas and Quentin, and they saw real concern and reason to be alarmed. "I think we'd better go over to the hospital and get some x- rays," Julia said as calmly as she could. "We want to make sure you don't have pneumonia."
"I'll stay with Jamie," Quentin volunteered. He went with Carolyn into the kitchen, listening to her tick off instructions about baby care. Carolyn went to the closet to get their coats.
Barnabas pulled Julia aside and whispered in her ear. "What is it?" he whispered.
Julia shook her head. She allowed herself to look frightened momentarily. "At the very least, it IS pneumonia. His lungs are filled with fluid. He sounds like he's drowning. Did you see his color? And his face is very puffy."
"Congestive heart failure," Elizabeth whispered. "We couldn't believe it. We thought it was something that only happened to older people, not one as young as Willie. Carolyn called me from the hospital. They had Willie in intensive care, trying to stop the progression of it."
"So young," Ruth said mournfully. "What caused it?"
"We don't know," Elizabeth sighed. "It may have been a virus that attacked his heart muscle. The doctor said he had, let me think--cardiomyopathy. He WAS very sick within a few days of Jamie's birth. He had a high fever." She thought for a moment. "We also found out that Willie had experimented with drugs before coming to Collinsport, maybe even for the first few weeks he was here. He took some kind of pills, I think it's called speed. He also said he used some cocaine." Ruth looked at Elizabeth with sympathy. "Bad choices lead to bad outcomes," Elizabeth said.
"Yes," Ruth agreed, "but as you say, you're not sure what happened. He might've just gotten sick, as you said. He hadn't taken those drugs for a long time before he met Carolyn."
"Yes. The doctor also said it may have been something he had all along. Many people don't know they have it, and they just drop dead. I suppose we were lucky in that way. Well. Willie was in the hospital for about ten days or so, and then he was discharged. He had to take five or six different medicines and his doctor referred him to the cardiologists at Massachusetts General. Later, he even went to the Heart Hospital in Allegheny, Pennsylvania. It seems that Julia knew some people there. We all did what we could to help. Jamie was absolutely no trouble to watch at all. It all seemed so hopeless, though. There was no cure. They could only give Willie medicine to control the fluid, keep it from filling up in his lungs again. His heart wasn't going to get better, the doctors said. They did say there was the chance of a heart transplant, but there were complications with that--not to mention a long waiting list." Elizabeth paused, then went on. "Even under the worst of circumstances, life goes on somehow. Willie seemed a little better, but he wasn't the same. He couldn't walk long distances without getting out of breath. He had to give up heavy work at Collinwood. That was very difficult for him. Yet, the family rallied around him."
"And now?" her mother prompted.
"Now--well, Willie's becoming weaker again, and Carolyn is pregnant. She should be having her baby any day now. They'd just gotten back from the doctor when I--" Elizabeth stopped, as the memory of her last day overwhelmed her.

Elizabeth had been watching Jamie while Carolyn and Willie went to the cardiologist in Boston. It was just after Christmas; Jamie was 21 months old and had finally begun to say more than a word or two. Well, Elizabeth thought to herself, she'd always heard that boys developed more slowly than girls. She put Jamie down for a nap, grateful that he was such a good-natured baby. She'd developed a sharp, blinding headache--the worst she'd ever experienced. When she went to put Jamie down for a nap, her left leg felt suddenly weak. She nearly lost her balance but managed to get Jamie into his crib in David's old room.
Elizabeth gripped the sides of the crib, frightened. She felt so odd. Should she call Julia? How? She was alone in the house with Jamie, and there was no phone at the Old House. Well, Quentin or Roger would be home soon. Or maybe Carolyn and Willie would get back before long. She made her way down the stairs and into the drawing room, sitting herself down on the couch.
A little while later, she was feeling better. Roger came home from work, visited with her briefly and then went upstairs to change. Mrs. Johnson came in, her errands in town complete. Quentin bounded down the stairs and came in for a drink. It turned out he'd been in the West Wing all along, writing. Quentin was still passing the time with Elizabeth when Carolyn and Willie came in.
Both of them looked strained, and both of them looked like they were putting on brave faces. They politely declined an invitation to dinner. Carolyn and Elizabeth went upstairs to get Jamie. Carolyn lifted Jamie out of the bed and held him to her, her eyes filling with tears.
"Carolyn, what's wrong?" Elizabeth asked.
"Oh, mother, I don't know what I'm going to do! I feel so alone!" Carolyn wept, rocking the still sleeping baby. Her belly bulged hugely. "The doctor said they'd put Willie on their list for transplants, but he said they'd have to get a muh-match first, and that the w-wait could be a l- long time, and Willie could d-d-"
"Oh, Carolyn, darling," Elizabeth felt like weeping herself. The pain in her head was back, sending exploding stars of agony across her skull.
"What am I going to do? I love Willie so much! He can't leave me now, not when I'm going to have this b-baby--"
Elizabeth felt a bomb explode in her brain. Her last conscious memory was of Carolyn's face in hers, screaming, "Mama!" over and over.
"Poor Carolyn. Poor Elizabeth," said Ruth. "No wonder you couldn't leave then."
"How could I? There was Carolyn, wondering how she could live without her husband, and there I go, having a massive stroke on her! What kind of mother would do that? She needed me!" Elizabeth realized what she was saying and looked at her mother, stricken.
"There, there," Ruth said comfortingly. "The truth is, we don't always get to choose. Sometimes things just happen at the wrong time. I thought the very same thing. I didn't want to go, either, knowing that I was leaving behind my two little children who still needed me very much."
"Then, Mama, do you see that I could never really rest, knowing that Carolyn may lose both her mother AND her husband? I couldn't bear it!"
"Perhaps there is something we can do to help," Ruth said. "As I said before, there are possibilities here that we call ' miracles' on earth." She thought. "I would like to ask one of your cousins, the first Quentin Collins. He was an inventor, a brilliant and most extraordinary man." Elizabeth smiled hopefully.
*****************************************************************
Now that they had a plan, Ruth had to teach Elizabeth how to maneuver, how to communicate. They practiced over and over. Then Ruth said excitedly, "Come, Elizabeth, there's something I think you'd like to see. We're going back. Don't worry, no one will see us."
Elizabeth was aware of being back in the hospital. She wondered how long she'd been gone. Reading her mind, her mother answered, "You've been in a coma for several weeks. The family has been told that there is no hope. They doctors are leaving the decision to Roger and Carolyn, but they haven't been able to bring themselves to have the breathing machine taken away." Odd, Elizabeth thought, I don't really feel anything about that. I just want to know about Carolyn. "She's here, having her baby."
Elizabeth could see Carolyn's face, bright red and sweating with effort. Willie, pale and exhausted, was on his feet and at her side, holding her hand and leaning in so that his face was only inches from hers. Their eyes were locked on each other; Willie was blowing rapidly, and Carolyn was following him. Just like the dance, Elizabeth thought. She saw the deep love the two had for each other.
"Okay, Carolyn, this is it," the doctor said. Willie supported Carolyn's shoulders with his arm and pulled her almost to a sitting position. He counted, and then Carolyn put all her energy and concentration into delivering the baby. Elizabeth watched in surprised wonder as the baby's head presented itself, followed by the shoulders, and then by the rest of the squirming little body. The baby shrieked with rage.
"Ohhhhh, my!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "What is it?"
"Darling! If you concentrate, you'll know!" Ruth was very excited. "My great-grand--" Then she seemed to push Elizabeth forward. "Go look. But you really don't have to move. Just look."
Elizabeth watched the nurses drying the tiny infant girl. A girl, a little girl! she thought. Willie kissed Carolyn and then stepped back and collapsed into a chair, breathing heavily. The nurse wrapped the baby tightly and brought her to Carolyn. Carolyn turned her head away, toward Willie. "Not now!"
The nurse seemed to understand and brought the baby to Willie. "Would you like to hold your daughter?" Eagerly, Willie held his arms out for the baby. He held her against his chest tenderly.
Watching him with her granddaughter, Elizabeth realized something: Carolyn didn't love the baby. Right now, she didn't even want her. She turned to her mother. "I must speak with her tonight." Ruth nodded in agreement.
"I will show you how to free yourself of the tie that binds you still to your body," her mother promised. "Then you can speak to Carolyn."

The nurse had brought the infant in for a late night visit, but Carolyn found herself unable to stay awake and felt no desire to hold her baby. She drifted off, the baby sleeping in the bassinette nearby. Carolyn awoke from a troubled sleep to see a dark form bending over the baby's bassinette. She bolted upright. "What are you doing?" Like the baby or not, she was still her mother and she would protect her child from danger. The figure straightened up. Stunned, Carolyn's mouth dropped open. "Mother!" she gasped. "Mama! What--how--?"
Elizabeth seemed to glide to the bed and sat down beside Carolyn. "My darling, I love you so much. And the baby is so beautiful."
"Mother, what are you doing up? You shouldn't be here, should you?" Carolyn asked, confused.
"My darling, I don't have much time, and I must talk to you. I want you to know how much I love you, and the children, and Willie, too. And I want you to trust me and believe what I tell you."
Carolyn nodded, speechless with shock as she realized her mother wasn't really there.
"There are wonderful things in this world, and miracles can happen. I know that right now you are so worried about losing Willie that you're not thinking about this baby. I know that you don't want her right now and that you don't think you'll ever be able to love her. I am telling you now that you are not terrible to feel this way. You will love her, and you will want her. And I want you to know that there is hope for Willie, and that I am going to try and help him. Somehow, we will get him the help he needs. I am not able to explain it all to you right now, but I will come back to you and I will tell you what to do. Do you believe me, Carolyn?"
"Yes, Mother," Carolyn whispered.
Elizabeth put her hand on the side of Carolyn's face, stroking her tenderly. Carolyn closed her eyes and tears spilled down her cheeks. "I wish I could stay with you. I wish I could help you with your babies. But you'll always have Willie. And Roger and David and Barnabas and Julia and Quentin. I will be back. I promise." When Carolyn opened her eyes again, her mother was gone.
The baby was crying. Carolyn got out of the bed and walked over to the bassinette. She picked up the baby and carried her back to the bed. She looked down at her child. "I'm sorry I don't feel anything right now," she whispered. She heard her mother's voice in her ear again. "I will love you someday, I promise you that." She began to sob.
At that moment, Elizabeth's doctor was approaching Roger, Quentin, and David, who'd all been called to the hospital. He took them into an adjoining room and asked them to sit down. "When we called you, Mrs. Stoddard had had another stroke. She went into cardiac arrest and then respiratory failure. We did everything we could to resuscitate her, but we weren't able to start her heart again. I'm sorry." Roger buried his face in his hands, pulling away from his son and cousin. David's face crumpled in grief. Quentin put his arm around David to comfort him, and the young man began to sob. Quentin sighed heavily, trying to cope with his own grief.
"What are we going to tell Carolyn?" Roger wondered, his voice breaking.

Elizabeth knew that Carolyn was feeling impatient, but she wanted to wait until the baby was settled at home before making her "appearance." Ruth had taught her how to look ahead, so she knew she had a little time to work with. She was touched that Carolyn and Willie had named their daughter for her. They called her Libby because Jamie was unable to say Elizabeth. He would say, "Libbybeff".
Spring had arrived, but there was little evidence of it. The ground was still hard and cold; no shoots had attempted to push out of the soil. As Carolyn and Willie's anniversary approached again, Elizabeth noticed that WIllie was becoming increasingly weaker and more tired.
"I think it's time," Ruth said. "Everything is ready. Our plan is in place. You are ready."
Elizabeth came to visit Carolyn in a dream so lucid, Carolyn could remember every detail. "You will have to go to Barnabas and Julia and have them help you," Elizabeth explained. "You and Willie must get to the staircase through time. They will help you find it. Once you begin to go up the staircase, I can help you get to your destination."
"Where are we going?" Carolyn asked. "Why do we need to go up a staircase?"
"Because the only hope for Willie is at Angeline Caron Hospital in Brazil years from now, in 1998. He must go there and see a doctor who is using a treatment that is not accepted here or in most places of the world. But it will work for Willie. Willie will not be able to wait for a donor heart, and I already know that Dr. Shumway's cyclosporin drug will not keep him from rejecting a transplanted heart."
"But a staircase?"
"You have to transcend time, Carolyn--almost 20 years. This procedure is not being done in this time. You must ask Barnabas and Julia to help you with the staircase, Carolyn."
"I'll do it, Mother."

But when she talked of her dream to Barnabas and Julia, they feigned ignorance. "There is no staircase," Barnabas lied.
Julia tried to reassure Carolyn. "It was a dream, Carolyn, and very understandable under the circumstances. Of course you are very worried about Willie--we all are."
"But it seemed so real to me," Carolyn protested. "It was like Mother was right there beside me, telling me about someone named Dr. Shumway and a drug called cylclosporin. What is cyclosporin anyway, and how would I know about it?"
"I'm sure it's come up in conversations with Willie's cardiologist or his associates," Julia explained reasonably. "Don't you remember? Cyclosporin is the name of the medication given to help suppress a transplant patient's immune system so that it doesn't reject the new heart."
Carolyn looked doubtful. She just wasn't sure. "But Dr. Battista? Who is he? And some hospital in Brazil...?"
"What's the MATTER with them?" Elizabeth asked in exasperation. "Why are they lying?" Moving swiftly, her mother showed Elizabeth the events of long ago 1971. "I never knew that!" Elizabeth was shocked. No wonder Quentin had gone off for so many years! She was furious that such terrible things had happened to her family, and she'd been totally unaware. No, kept in the dark.
"Elizabeth, wait," Ruth called, but it was too late. Elizabeth moved to confront Julia and Barnabas. She meant to say, "Just what did you think you were doing, keeping secrets from the whole family?" She realized in consternation that she had no voice. She was also effectively startled by the reactions of Barnabas, Julia, and Carolyn.
They could see her! Barnabas had jumped to his feet, and Julia's hand flew to her mouth in that characteristic way of hers whenever she was frightened or surprised. "Mother!" Carolyn cried out joyfully. But the joy rapidly changed as Elizabeth found herself fading away. "Mama, don't go!"
"Elizabeth, you're not ready for that yet," Ruth explained. "We haven't practiced it enough."
"Well, I HAVE to talk to them!" Elizabeth insisted.
"I think they know that."
Julia and Barnabas were discussing it already. "Perhaps we could try a seance," Julia said. Barnabas was reluctant but agreeable. "We could have Quentin help us. I don't think Willie should be involved."
"You see?" Ruth said reassuringly. "You'll be able to talk to them."
"I've never done that."
"You don't have to practice. You'll see--it just happens."
So it was Elizabeth found herself explaining what needed to be done, using Carolyn as her voice. It felt the most comfortable to her, and she was comforted by her daughter's closeness. It was almost like being alive again. She decided not to bring up what happened in 1971. It wasn't important anymore. What was important was that Willie get up the staircase, where she would guide them on their way to Brazil.
*****************************************************************
On Good Friday, Carolyn drove to the Shaws' home and dropped Jamie and Libby off with Sebastian and Maggie and their two children. The story was that she and Willie were going away on an extended vacation. Maggie didn't ask any questions; she only hugged Carolyn close. As he leaned to kiss Carolyn goodbye on the cheeck, Sebastian spoke quietly into her ear. "Trust, Carolyn. Everything will be all right. You're doing the right thing." Startled, Carolyn pulled back and looked at Sebastian in consternation. He winked at her, and she left feeling both confused and relieved.
Julia and Barnabas had, with Quentin's help, located the old, original staircase. Desmond had not been successful in his attempt to destroy it after all. They only had to wait for Carolyn and Willie.
Willie knew the story of the staircase, so the pallor of his face could partially be explained by his intimidation of it. However, as they began to climb, Willie very quickly became exhausted. He paused more and more frequently, and his breathing grew louder and more labored. Looking up, they could see the air shimmering. There seemed to be a faint outline of someone standing at the top of the stairs.
"Can we give you a hand, old man?" Quentin asked.
Willie could only nod. Barnabas and Quentin supported Willie between them, and they continued up the stairs with Julia and Carolyn close behind.
"Good, hurry, no one is around!" It was Elizabeth's voice, but it seemed to come from within. It was a thought that appeared in everyone's minds. They all crossed into the west wing corridor. It was very quiet and very dark.
"The back way," Quentin said to Barnabas, who merely nodded. It would've been so easy for either man to lift Willie and carry him like a baby. He seemed to be totally weightless. Neither one wanted to embarrass Willie, so they continued to half carry him between them.
Waiting outside in the driveway was a sleek looking large passenger van. "How convenient," said Quentin. "Thank you, Cousin Elizabeth." He had a quick image of her smiling face. The doors were all unlocked, and there were keys in the ignition. In appearance, this was totally unlike any vehicle they had ever seen. The front of the vehicle was not flat; it was snub- nosed, like a racing car. The interior, however, was spacious and comfortable. Carolyn and Barnabas helped Willie climb into the rear bench. Quentin and Julia exchanged looks.
"You drive," Julia decided.
They got in. Everyone buckled up, and Quentin turned the keys in the ignition. The engine turned over at once but two giant straps started forward from the ceiling. Julia shrieked as the straps moved inexorably toward her and Quentin, pinning them across their shoulders.
"For cryin out loud, ya mean in twenty years people are gonna need some car to buckle them up?" Willie said contemptously, still breathing rathing raggedly. Quentin roared with laughter, but Julia was mortified. Barnabas clasped her on the shoulder with sympathy. He remembered culture shock.
"Maybe you better check out the lights and stuff before we go," Willie cautioned.
"Well, let's go down the road a little and do that," Quentin said. "I'd hate to hear myself out here and come out to see who was messing with the family car."
Willie laughed appreciatively. Quentin backed down the drive, turned off on the road and drove toward Eagle Hill. "This is soooo smooth," Quentin said. He wiggled the wheel back and forth, throwing everyone from side to side.
"Quentin, what do you think you're doing?" Barnabas asked irritably.
"I'm sorry," Quentin said, pulling off the road. "Let's see here." He located the headlights, the brights, the left and right blinkers, and the windshield wipers. "Okay, now where's the radio knob?" No knob. Must be a button. Quentin quickly discovered that in order to turn the radio on, he had to push a button. To move around the dial, he had to push either the right or left arrows, for volume, either + or -. "Far out!" he commented.
"Quentin, stop playing and get on the road," Elizabeth said sharply. She was worried about Willie's pasty pallor.
"Yes, ma'am!" Quentin said, sitting up straight. He pulled back onto the road.
Julia looked at him curiously. "Who are you talking to?" she asked. Looking in the rear view mirror, Quentin saw that the others also looked puzzled.
"Guess I'm just hearing things," Quentin mumbled, embarrassed.
"Hey, are you sure you should be drivin this thing?" Willie asked.
"It's all right, darling," Elizabeth said soothingly to her daughter. "I just don't know how to speak to all of you at once for long periods of time."
"It's Mother," Carolyn said, relieved. "She's with us."
Quentin sighed in relief. "Where to?"
"Bangor. To the airport."
Along the way, Quentin played with the radio stations, looking for something to listen to. He found something called Lite Rock. "And here is Celine Dion singing the Academy award winning love theme from this year's best picture, 'Titanic'," announced the deejay, and the haunting strains of foreign sounding instruments--like tin whistles-- filled the van.
"Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on..."
Listening to the words, Carolyn felt her eyes fill with tears. She realized this song was about dealing with loss--wasn't it from a movie about the Titanic? She put her head on Willie's shoulder. She really couldn't listen anymore. "Quentin, please find something else," she asked, her voice breaking. Willie kissed her hair.
Quentin quickly began playing with the button again. "Well, that's one ship I'm glad I missed," he said to cover his discomfort. Only Julia and Barnabas realized he was serious.
"Quentin, STOP, we want to listen to this!" Elizabeth commanded, very loudly. Quentin winced and jerked his hand off the radio button as if he'd been burned.
"...and this wasn't the song played at their wedding, but it's always been, like, their song," a young voice was explaining. "They're leaving tonight so they won't be around on their actual wedding anniversary."
"Second honeymoon?"
"Yeah, man, they're flying down to Sao Paolo for a week. Then they're meeting an old friend of theirs and staying with him another week or so."
"All right, Jim," the deejay replied. "Any words for your parents tonight with this dedication?"
"Well, basically, me and my sisters just want to tell them how much we love them. We think they're great--they've always been there for us, no matter what was going on with them. They've had some real ups and downs. We just want them to know how much we appreciate them."
"Hear that, Mom and Dad?" the deejay asked. "Sounds like you did a great job raising Jim, Libby, and Emily. Have a great flight and happy anniversary next week." The strong sound of bass and drums filled the van.
"Nice anniversay song," Willie groaned. "What kinda music is this anyway?" The beat was beginning to change, and Carolyn heard the strains of something familiar. A piano began playing. She felt herself jump and felt Willie start as well. They looked at each other as Frankie Vallee began singing "Oh What A Night."
Carolyn started laughing. "Well, whaddaya know? What have they done to our song, Ma?" Willie joked. "What a lame song to fall in love to! Y'know what it's really about?"
"So what? Hey, maybe that's a dedication to you two," Quentin said. "Next week is your anniversary, isn't it?" He saw Elizabeth smile at him again and wink.
Shocked, Carolyn and Willie looked at each other again. "Maybe it's a sign," Carolyn said softly.
"Well, if it don't work, I guess this is some history we'll be changing," Willie answered. He laughed nervously.
"Who's Emily?" Quentin asked mischievously.
Willie laughed nervously again. "Well, that's what I mean, ya know? If this thing don't work, maybe there won't be no Emily."
"Willie, don't even joke about that!" Carolyn cried.
Quentin took the exit off the highway for the airport. He parked the van. Everyone got out and looked around for the bus stop. A limousine pulled up. The dark window rolled down and the driver leaned out. "Loomis party?" he asked.
No one said anything; everyone was surprised and suspicious. "Yes, this is the Loomis party," Barnabas said cautiously. "We weren't expecting anyone to meet us here."
"Sir, I'm paid to escort you to Runway 9, where you'll be taking a private flight to the Sao Jose dos Pinhais airport in Parona, Brazil. You'll be met there as well, and driven to the Hospital Angeline Carone."
This was a welcome surprise! Everyone climbed into the back of the limosine. It was a short drive by limo to the waiting plane. Quentin whistled. He'd recognized the plane. "Sssh," whispered Elizabeth. "He wouldn't want Carolyn to know yet. It's a surprise."
The inside of the plane was like a house. Barnabas wandered around, amazed. None of the group had ever seen anything as luxurious as this, but he was especially impressed. The plane was getting ready to take off, and everyone had to sit down in wide recliner type loungers, strapping themselves in. The plane began to roll forward, gradually picking up speed. A roaring sound filled the cabin and the passengers felt themselves being pushed back into their seats. This was nothing at all like a car. Barnabas' eyes were huge, and his face was very pale. Julia squeezed his hand comfortingly, and Barnabas shut his eyes.
"Barnabas, as many times as you've flown, don't tell me you're getting airsick?" Quentin teased. Willie guffawed, and Barnabas' eyes snapped open. He was pale as Swiss cheese but still managed to glare sternly at Quentin.
"Are you all right, Barnabas?" Carolyn asked, genuinely concerned.
"Yes, Carolyn, please don't worry," Barnabas said reassuringly. He gave another severe look at Quentin, who arched his brows playfully and gave a little shrug. When Carolyn looked away, Julia retaliated by elbowing Quentin in the ribs.
"Now, now, kids," Willie said, laughing.
Carolyn looked back at them, curiously, but had learned long ago there was no point in asking questions.
It was a long flight. Willie and Carolyn stretched out together on one of the beds and fell asleep. Barnabas paced nervously, unable to relax. Quentin tried approaching him several times but Barnabas made it plain he didn't want to talk. "You'd better just leave him alone," Julia cautioned. The landing was even more stressful than takeoff was because the plane bumped and hopped up and down several times before coming to a halt.
Medical attendants waited outside. One held a wheelchair by its handles. There was a distinguished looking older man standing with them as well, very handsomely dressed. The flight of stairs was moved into place, and Carolyn and Willie exited the plane first, followed by Quentin and then Julia and Barnabas.
Barnabas pulled Julia's arm, drawing his breath in sharply. They both looked at the gentleman standing there and froze. The man moved forward to greet Carolyn. He looked familiar to her, with his chiseled good looks. He appeared to be in his fifties; although his hair was snowy white, he was still ruggedly handsome and strong. "Mrs. Loomis," he said, taking her hand.
Willie was moving very slowly, wheezing. Concerned, the man waved the attendant with the wheelchair forward. "I hope your flight was comfortable," the man said, trying to put Willie at ease.
Mother, who is he? Carolyn thought. Why does he look so familiar?
Before Elizabeth could answer, Quentin bounded forward, stuck his hand out and said, "Burke! Good to see you again!" He shook the gentleman's hand heartily, and the man grinned at him.
"Quentin, I didn't know you were aboard," he answered in delight.
Carolyn's hands flew to her face. It all came back to her. "Burke Devlin!" she gasped. "You're alive!"
Willie looked up at him curiously.
"Long story, Carolyn," Burke said. "We have plenty of time to catch up." He looked up at Barnabas and Julia. "Welcome, Mr. Collins, Dr. Hoffman. I didn't realize you were coming, Mr. Collins, or I might have had you arrive on the red eye. I believe this is the first time I'm seeing you in the light of day," he added a little sardonically.
"Well," Barnabas said airily to cover his own shock, "there is a first time for everything, isn't there?" He looked at Julia, who was equally stunned, took her by the elbow and walked down the stairs. "I'm sorry," Elizabeth thought. "I guess I should have warned you. I wasn't thinking about all the bad feelings betwen you two."
They all fit quite comfortably into Burke's stretch limousine. Willie, exhausted, closed his eyes. "We'll go directly to the hospital. It won't take long to get there," Burke said. "I have a small villa here. It's close to Hospital Angeline Caron." He offered everyone something to drink. Only Willie declined; he wanted to sleep.
On the drive to the hospital, Burke explained what had happened all those years ago. His plane had actually gone down in a mountainous area near the Amazon called the Guiana Massif; everyone had been killed except for Burke. He remembered very little of his trip down the mountain and into the plains; he vaguely remembered pain and hunger and thirst but, mercifully, those memories had faded away. He stumbled into the clearing of a small farm. There was no transportation, so the family nursed him back to health. The thing was, the blow to his head had caused amnesia. He didn't remember who he was for months. By then, because of total immersion, he'd become quite fluent in Portuguese, Spanish, and an Indian patois. The family knew he needed medical attention, so they used what little money they had to take him to the city to the hospital. It was a long journey. With the help of the doctors, Burke was able to remember who he was. Grateful to the family, he paid them back by sending their children to school. One of them was a doctor now, a cardiologist.
"Is that the doctor who will be seeing Willie?" Carolyn asked curiously.
"Yes, he's brilliant, absolutely brilliant," Burke said proudly. "He is a protege of Dr. Battista, who's perfected the ventricular remodeling technique. He's going to be as famous as Dr. Barnard was, and Dr. Shumway, AND Dr. DeBakey."
"Why did you never return to Collinsport?" Barnabas asked.
Burke looked at him a little bitterly. "What makes you think I haven't?" Then he looked at Quentin, Julia, and Carolyn, looking at him so curiously. Julia knew about the conflict between him and Barnabas, but the other two didn't. "I liked it here. I made this the center of my operations," he explained. "I'm actually doing very well here. I have a cattle ranch and a small limestone mine. My ranch is south of here." He looked at Carolyn directly. "I did make contact. Your mother told me what happened to Vicki--that she'd married someone named Jeff or something." He looked at Barnabas again, with a wry twist of his mouth. "Must've been some shock for you, Mr. Collins."
Barnabas chose not to answer.
"Later, Mrs. Stoddard let me know that Vicki had disappeared, and gave me the details surrounding it." He stopped; the memory obviously was still painful to him. Burke looked at Barnabas again. "So, you see, there was no need to come back." Barnabas nodded, understanding.
"How did you know about us?" Carolyn asked. "How did you know to send the plane for us and to make these arrangements?"
"Your mother told me what was happening," Burke answered as if it was the most natural response in the world. "I wanted to do what I could to help. I have to say, there've been some REALLY strange things going on at Collinwood."
"What an understatement," Quentin laughed.
Julia cleared her throat curiously. "How is it you know Quentin?"
"Oh, he was working on a little investigative project in the early 70s. I happened to be in Washington, D.C. at the same time he was working for the Washington Post. Some minor story, eh, Quentin?"
"Well, some of it is classified," Quentin explained with obvious reluctance. Julia looked at him in surprise.
Burke laughed. "You ARE a family for secrets! It's no big deal anymore. We were looking at business money being laundered in various countries in South America at the time, including Brazil. Think it also had to do with drugs being piped into the country, too?"
"I'd really rather not talk about it. My sources--," Quentin said, obviously uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry, I keep forgetting. It's more recent for you, isn't it?"
"So you even know when we've come from?" Carolyn asked, curiously.
Burke gave her an enigmatic smile. "Carolyn, I know there are REALLY strange things going on at your house."
Carolyn looked back at Quentin, who smiled slightly and shook his head, no. Carolyn wondered just what her cousin had been up to while he'd been away. "Sometimes you're better off not knowing, dear," Elizabeth whispered. Carolyn sighed and closed her eyes, too. Her mother was absolutely right.
The next thing she knew, they were pulling up to the hospital. Carolyn began to feel frightened for the first time. Everyone spoke a different language here. It wasn't a U.S. hospital. "Trust me, darling, it'll be all right," her mother said to her soothingly. Willie was wheeled to his room.
The doctor came to talk to them. He was an unprepossessing man, slight, dark haired, and bearded, dressed in blue scrubs. He shook hands with everyone and sat down to talk to them. He reviewed the functioning of a normal heart. "Normally, blood flows into the left side of the heart from the lungs, here," he explained, indicating a picture. "This blood is rich with oxygen. Then the heart pumps the blood back out to the rest of the body. However, here is what is happening in the case of Mr. Loomis." He continued with drawings of an enlarged heart. "The heart is a muscle, you see. When it becomes so large, it loses its elasticity and can no longer pump the blood efficiently. Mrs. Loomis, your husband's heart pumps at about 10 per cent of its capactiy."
Carolyn gasped.
"Yes. So you see, the blood then backs up into his heart and lungs. This is called regurgitation, and this is what led to his heart failure. The conventional way to treat this problem is with digitalis to help the heart contract more strongly. Also to give a diuretic to keep the fluids from building up, " the doctor continued. "Sometimes other corrective steps can be taken. For example, had Mr. Loomis experienced an infection in his heart valves, one or both could be replaced. However, this is not the case. And in the case of Mr. Loomis, the last resort is heart transplant. However, the list of people needing hearts remains long, and the list of donors remains short. I believe this procedure will help address the dual problem of shortage of the organ and also rejection of the new organ."
The doctor drew an imaginery line across the lower half of the left ventricle. "What I will do is remove this portion of Mr. Loomis' heart. I will then sew the heart chamber back together."
Julia gasped and jumped up. "That is outrageous!"
The doctor looked at her, surprised. "Dr. Hoffman, I was under the impression belief you were aware of Dr. Battista's procedure. Was I mistaken?"
"Doctor, how can you speak of cutting away a portion of Willie's heart? Our job is to protect as much of the heart muscle as we can! That muscle is not dead!"
The doctor had a weary expression on his face, as if to say, I've been through all this before. "Dr. Hoffman, if we reduce the size of Mr. Loomis' heart, we can increase its efficiency. It is too large to pump well now."
"Are you the only two working on this procedure?" Julia asked.
The doctor looked at her, startled. "For several years, yes. But then we had visitors from the United States, from the Cleveland Clinic Foundation. It is my understanding that they continue to test this procedure at the clinics there. It is also my understanding that there are other centers which are beginning to perform this procedure on their sickest patients."
"You mean in the teaching hospitals, where the patients sign release forms authorizing experimental treatment in case there's a need for emergency resuscitation on a heart patient who may die anyway?"
"Doctor, this operation has been successfully performed not only here, but in other places in the world. One thousand people, doctor, and 75% of them showed dramatic gains in the strength of their heart muscle within ten days of the surgery. Most of our patients are older. I believe Mr. Loomis has an even greater chance because he has the advantage of his youth."
"Julia, we did come here with Elizabeth's guidance," Quentin put in. "Maybe we should listen."
"Doctor," Barnabas added placatingly, "I am not sure that I understand all this. Would you mind going over it all again for me?"
"But, of course, Mr. Collins," the doctor said patiently. Again he explained. "You see, if we make the heart smaller, it becomes stronger because it does not need to use as much energy to pump the blood."
Carolyn looked back and forth between the doctor and Julia. It sounded so--so--radical, crazy--and yet,--
"Carolyn, it's your grandmother with you now," Ruth whispered soothingly, "we want to help you. I am here with your mother. She wanted to help you. She knows you love your husband. Please let us help you. Please trust us."
"Please, Carolyn," Elizabeth added. Carolyn could almost feel her mothers arms around her. Tears began to spill from her eyes. She wiped them away and looked at the doctor.
"I trust you," she said in a clear, strong voice. "When can you do this operation?"
"Oh, Carolyn!" Julia groaned, and opened her mouth. Barnabas put his hands on Julia's shoulders and said softly, "No, Julia, don't. Quentin is right. We must trust this man."
"I will operate tomorrow," the doctor decided.

At about 4 a.m., Carolyn knocked very gently at Barnabas' door. She wasn't worried about disturbing him, and she was right. Barnabas was wide awake. "Would you come with me to the hospital?" she asked.
"Of course I will, Carolyn," Barnabas said.
Willie was not in a deep sleep and woke as soon as they came into the room. "Hey," he said, surprised. He was pleased to see them.
Barnabas put his hand on Willie's shoulder and looked into his eyes. He struggled with his feelings. "I know it's not easy for you, dear cousin Barnabas," Elizabeth said softly, "but do try. It'll mean so much to Willie. I will always regret I didn't say anything."
"Willie," Barnabas began hoarsely. "I want to tell you how much I--you helped me a great deal. Much more than you can every know, and you've been such a loyal friend to me. I don't think I ever told you how grateful I am--"
"I know, Barnabas," Willie said, trying to alleviate Barnabas' discomfort.
"No, I need to tell you this, Willie. I know you know. But I never told you--I never told you how much you mean to me. You became more than just my employee a long time ago. You are even more than a friend to me, Willie. You are my family, Willie." Willie's eyes blurred with emotion. He'd known it, of course, but it really did make a difference to actually hear it. Barnabas was unable to go on any further. Embarrassed and flustered, he gripped Willie's shoulder tightly. "I will pray for you, my dear friend. I think I should let you be alone with your wife." He backed out of the room and shut the door softly behind him.

Carolyn and Willie clasped hands. Carolyn sensed his fear; this was a very radical, dramatic step they were taking. "Carolyn, I think we oughta talk about a few things before the surgery," Willie was saying.
"No, Willie, don't say anything. We have to be hopeful."
"'Hope is the thing with feathers--That perches in the soul--And sings the tune without the words--and never stops--at all,'" Willie quoted with a gentle smile.
"What's that? It's so pretty!" Carolyn asked, moved. Her eyes were welling with tears again.
"I guess you didn't know old Willie knew anything about poetry," Willie said, sounding a little pleased with himself.
"Why, no, I didn't," Carolyn said, quite surprised.
"Well, see, sometimes, I liked to read late at night instead of takin walks. I'm not much for novels, you know, but I do like a little poetry."
"Who is it?"
"Emily Dickinson. She sure is easy to read. She says everything in just a few short words, you know?"
"Yes," Carolyn said, and stopped, overcome with emotion. How had she never known this?
"Carolyn, you remember how you wanted to get married at Easter because it was gonna give us a new start? That's what hope is all about. You know it deep down inside. Want to hear another one?" Willie sounded eager, almost childish in his desire to surprise and please Carolyn. She nodded speechlessly.
He thought. "Let's see, umm...'Spring is the period Express from God. Among the other seasons Himself abide, But during March and April None stir abroad Without a cordial interview With God.' Carolyn, this is about you and me. It's spring again, and this is our interview. We're blessed, you know that?" He noticed her tears. "Hey, you're crying!" He sounded alarmed.
"It's all right, Willie. I just feel happy. I know everything is going to be all right now."
Willie moved far over on the bed. "Here, lie down with me."
Carolyn stretched out alongside Willie, and put her head on his shoulder. They waited for the orderlies to come.

After Willie was taken down for surgery, Burke offered to take everyone out to get away from the hospital for a while. The surgery would take hours. Carolyn politely declined, and Julia and Barnabas felt they should keep her company. Quentin, who was nervous and restless as a cat, was only too happy to go off with Burke.
Carolyn was serenely patient; Barnabas paced nervously, and Julia squeezed her hands. "It would seem that WE are the ones who need the reassurance," Julia said with a small smile.
Carolyn smiled. "My mother is in there, too. I know it will be all right."
Elizabeth's first reaction to the operation room was one of revulsion; then she thought, what is so awful about this? She became interested in the goings-on. Ruth was frankly curious. All of this was beyond her understanding. She only knew that it WAS. Elizabeth watched as Willie's heart was stopped; he was placed on a heart-lung machine while the doctor worked on his heart. It was a pain-staking procedure. "This is absolutely remarkable!" Elizabeth marvelled. Willie's heart looked enormous in the doctor's hands. He deftly cut away what seemed to be a very large slice, leaving a portion about the size of the doctor's fist. Now the doctor was closing Willie's heart with sutures. Elizabeth sent frequent messages to Carolyn, whose sense of well being increased with each message.
The doctor spoke in another language to his colleagues, but Elizabeth understood him very well. "Let's see if we can get this one going again." Elizabeth watched and waited during the flurry of activity. She saw the heart turn pink and then dark red. It began beating, strongly. "It's over darling," she thought. "And he's all right."
In the waiting room, Carolyn breathed a sigh of relief. "The surgery is over, and Willie is just fine!" she exclaimed joyfully.

In all, Willie was in the hospital ten days, progressing from cardiac intensive care, to intensive care, to post op, to a normal room. He was miserably uncomfortable and afraid to cough--he felt as if he might crack in two. He didn't complain very much because it felt so good to be alive. Sometimes he thought he could hear Elizabeth speaking to him soothingly, reassuringly before he'd drop off to sleep. When he was able to walk, he didn't really want to stop and sit down to rest--it had been so long. The doctor, listening to Willie's chest, made the OK sign with his thumb and forefinger. "Sounds strong. Loud," he said jubilantly. "I see a normal life span for this young man. I don't foresee any complications."
Julia listened for herself and had to agree. When the doctor began to discuss follow-up care, Barnabas tapped Julia on the shoulder and indicated he wanted to speak to her in the hall. "Julia, what is Willie's doctor going to think when he sees what's happened?" Barnabas asked worriedly.
Julia shrugged. "The sutures are self-dissolving. Perhaps we can convince Willie and Carolyn to go to another cardiologist. I suppose I can come up with something to make it seem as though he's had a transplant; that would explain the scar on Willie's chest. Cardiac testing isn't as advanced in 1979 as it is now." She thought. "There have been inexplicable miracles in medicine before, Barnabas. I don't think that the doctor will be able to tell what's happened. All he will know is that by physical exam, Willie will have a normal sized heart. He won't the truth without more surgery, and it doesn't seem that Willie will need any."
"And what about the medication?"
"Well, the cardiologist can prescribe whatever he wants, and Willie can just throw away the scrips if he doesn't need them."
"This all seems so complicated!"
"Well, haven't I said that we've lied ourselves out of much worse situations than this? Don't worry, Barnabas. We'll always think of something."
When Willie was ready to be discharged from the hospital, Burke had his limousine pick the family up and take them back to the airport where his jet was waiting to take them back home. Willie's face was full of color, and he was quite unlike the sick man who'd first arrived. He and Carolyn sat with fingers intertwined, taking new delight in each other. Quentin also had a very satisfied expression on his face. "Like the cat that got into the cream," Elizabeth thought. Quentin smiled, thinking Elizabeth would prefer not to know what he'd been into. Elizabeth laughed.
Burke took Carolyn by the hand. "Come back and see me in twenty years," he said, smiling gently. "I'd like to see what you REALLY look like then."
"Thank you for everything," Carolyn said gratefully, throwing her arms around him.
Burke shook Willie's hand heartily. "You'll be back, too," he said.
"Yeah, I didn't get to see much this time around," Willie replied with a warm smile.
"Quentin," Burke said, thumping his old friend on the shoulder. "You'll never grow up." He took Julia's hand briefly and stiffly shook Barnabas' hand.
Once on the plane and seated, Quentin removed a flask from inside his jacket and unscrewed the top. Barnabas eyed it. "Ah, Quentin," he said. "Would you mind--?" Quentin grinned indulgently and handed the flask to his cousin. Julia sighed and rolled her eyes.
This time, Julia dozed and Barnabas slept deeply for most of the flight. Carolyn, Willie, and Quentin were too upbeat and excited to really relax. They talked and laughed through the entire flight. Sometimes they would take a peek at Barnabas, exchange looks, and burst out laughing. At the airport, they looked for the van, but it was nowhere to be found. "It's not here anymore," Elizabeth said. "It was reported stolen and the police have it."
"I guess the joke's on us," said Quentin. "We better catch a ride back to the airport and either rent a car or get a cab."
"Let's rent a car. I am not feeling up to making small talk with a cab driver," said Barnabas.
"Hey, let's not get the shuttle," Willie said. "Let's walk."
"Willie, don't over do it," Julia cautioned.
"Well, let's just walk over to the next parking lot," Carolyn compromised. "Then we'll catch the shuttle." It was actually a good idea, because Willie was rather tired by the time they came to the next shuttle stop. It felt good, though. He wasn't out of breath, just tired.
There were three young people waiting at the shuttle stand. Willie happened to glance over at them, and then he gawked. He poked Carolyn, who poked Quentin. Soon they were all staring, and trying hard not to be obvious about it. One of the young people had died fushia hair which stuck up in spikes all over her head and an earring through her nose. Her lips and nails were painted black. The young man sitting next to her was dressed in black leather. His ear was pierced with about a dozen small rings. The third young woman was also dressed in black and seemed to have a mouth full of gum. She noticed the Collinses were staring at her and her friends. She looked at them, insulted, and opened her mouth to show them a huge golden stud pierced through her tongue. She waggled it up, down, and around her mouth.
Barnabas was appalled. "My God!" he said, thunderstruck. "Why would someone mutilate herself that way?"
"All young people have to be different," Julia explained. "That's never changed."
The three young people got up, glared resentfully at the Collinses, and sauntered away. The young woman looked back at Barnabas. "Dincha mother ever teach you any manners, mister? Doncha know it's rude to stare? Yo, man, get a life why doncha?"
Carolyn, Willie, and Quentin collapsed against each other, laughing and whooping. "This place is SCARY," Willie laughed, his eyes streaming tears. "I wanna go home, honey!"
"I certainly hope nothing else happens tonight! Really, this time period is just too bizarre!" Barnabas complained.
"I'm just curious to see how we get from hippies to--to--whatever they call themselves," Julia said, with an amused smile. Barnabas suddenly smiled too.

Now they were descending the staircase, and Willie fairly raced down the steps. He didn't need any assistance at all. From the staircase, it was a short trip to the Shaws' home. The doctor had cautioned Willie against lifting anything heavier than 15 pounds for several weeks, but he was able to carry Libby when Maggie placed her in his arms. Sebastian handed a sleepy Jamie over to Carolyn and winked at her again. "Mommy, daddy, the ether bunny was here," little Jamie said drowsily, only half-awake.
Julia drove them all home, in a sensible box style van. By the time she pulled up to Willie and Carolyn's little house, Quentin was sound asleep with little Jamie leaning against him also softly snoring. Barnabas and Julia helped Willie and Carolyn get the children into the house. Barnabas retrieved their bags and carried them in. Willie was suddenly embarrassed. This role reversal still made him uncomfortable. As if he sensed it, Barnabas said gently, "You really are my family, Willie."
"Thanks for coming, Barnabas. It meant a lot to have you there helpin me," Willie said sincerely. Julia embraced both Willie and Carolyn; Barnabas hugged Carolyn, and then they left. Quentin hadn't moved a muscle. That was all right, Carolyn was sure he'd be around in the next day or two.
Willie and Carolyn put the children to bed. They were both very tired, climbing into bed, holding each other. They talked softly and drowsily. "Hey, I hope we remember to go see that movie. 'Specially since it's best picture. Especially now that it looks like this heart is gonna go on and on." Willie yawned.
"I think I'd like to hear the whole song. It was so pretty and so sad. Do you know any more Emily Dickinson poems?" Carolyn asked.
"Oh, sure, lots," Willie answered. "She wrotes lots of poems about death, though, ya know? Maybe that's why I liked her so much when I was sad."
"Mmm," Carolyn murmurered. "I just thought you might tell me another poem."
"Oh!" Willie was pleased. Elizabeth watched him use the last little bit of energy he had, searching his memory. "I got one," he said finally, with another yawn. "'So much depends upon a red wheel barrow glazed with rain water beside the white chickens.'"
The words penetrated Carolyn's brain and nearly woke her up because they were so unsual, especially for a bedtime poem. "Is that Emily Dickinson again? I don't think I understand it."
"Nah, that one was by a guy named William Carlos Williams. He gave his poems names. He called this one 'The Red Wheelbarrow.' I just thought of it cause it's like what really counts in life is what you don't really see--you know, the everyday stuff like a wheelbarrow on a farm." He closed his eyes, hearing Elizabeth whisper softly, "I'll always love you, Willie. What a wonderful son you are!" as he drifted off to sleep. Carolyn kissed him, very gently.
Just before she fell asleep, she saw her mother approach the bed. She'd been expecting her; she knew she'd see her one more time. "Thank you, Mother, thank you for my life," Carolyn whispered, filled with emotion. Elizabeth sat beside her daughter on the bed, stroking her hair. "Do you have to leave me, Mama? I want you to stay." Carolyn realized she sounded like a little child.
"I'll never really be far away from you, Carolyn," Elizabeth said. "And we'll be together again when it's time. But now it's time for your life to go on. It's spring, Carolyn, time for everything to be born new again. And if you look hard enough, Carolyn, you will see me. I'll always be part of you and a part of the little ones."
Elizabeth waited for Carolyn to drift peacefully off to sleep. She found her mother again. "Be at peace, Elizabeth, darling," said Ruth, smiling. "We can go now."

The sound of the baby crying woke Carolyn in the early hours of the morning. She stumbled sleepily to the Libby's crib. She wanted to make sure Willie slept on, undisturbed. Carrying Libby with her into the living room, she sat down on the sofa and turned on the radio. She put the baby to her breast, absently going over in her mind the miraculous events of the past few weeks.
Elizabeth watched, totally content, surrounded by her mother, father, and beloved family and friends. She felt totally at peace, but wished for one more thing. "Go ahead, Elizabeth, you know how," her mother said.
Carolyn felt a hand caress her cheek. Startled, she realized Libby had reached up with her chubby hand and touched her. "Hey, you're pretty clever," Carolyn said amused. She realized that Libby was looking directly at her. There was something about her eyes--Carolyn gave a little start, feeling herself being drawn into the baby's eyes. They were Mama's eyes, but they were also her daughter's eyes. Carolyn felt her heart swell to near bursting. She felt a surge of feeling coursing through her body that set her tingling. "You know what, Libby," Carolyn said with deep passion, "I really love YOU." She closed her eyes. She saw her Mama's face. She saw another young face with similar features: Libby, with thick dark hair and bright blue eyes. It was spring. It was time for life to begin again.


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